


Consider It

by Jay2Noir



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Boss/Employee Relationship, Cunnilingus, F/M, I cameoed my other fic in this, Jealous Kylo Ren, Make up sex, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Overcoming insecurities, Porn With Plot, Possessive Kylo Ren, Reader is not a virgin, Sex, Sexting, Squirting, Surprise Kissing, Tag As I Go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-10-29 08:16:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10850043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay2Noir/pseuds/Jay2Noir
Summary: You picked up a job as an assistant to the one and only Kylo Ren. All you have to do is follow him around and meet his every "professional" need. Easy right?Nah. Not when his needs slowly turn from professional to extremely unprofessional. And definitely not when you have a very big secret to keep, because if he finds out you'd be done for.Contains some references to my first fic, but you don't need to read that one to understand this one.





	1. Chapter 1

Consider It

 

Chapter 1

 

Everyone anticipates their first day on the job differently. Some are confident, some are afraid, some excited, and some full of dread. You were, perhaps, overconfident, leisurely and relaxed.

You had accepted a position in The First Order as an assistant to its Commander: Kylo Ren. All of your peers back at home were worried sick for you, had asked you over and over again if you were sure you wanted to take the job. You said yes to all of them, ready to take the job and see for yourself how bad Kylo would be. You knew a lot about him but seriously doubted he could get under your skin. I mean come on, you were you after all.

All you had to do was be an assistant. Lots of “yes sir's” and “no sir's,” lots of making copies, lots of coffee runs. It would get pretty boring, nothing comparative to your current job. What could possibly go wrong? I mean, you did have quite the mouth on you and a very snarky attitude, but you learned to control it. You were like an actor when it came to these kinds of things, you could mold yourself to whatever the situation demanded of you. So if this song and dance needed you to be submissive, you'd bend to its will as quick as you could.

If his job went sour, you would have a lot to lose.

 

The storm trooper led you to your sleeping quarters on your first day on Star Killer Base, you followed slowly behind him wheeling your suitcase behind you.

This entire base was so boring, filled with lots of blacks and greys. The people on the base were boring, either wearing all white storm trooper outfits or black lieutenant outfits. You grimaced when you realized you'd have to wear something just as boring as these people. Seriously, did these people have any fun at all? Every face you saw looked so unhappy, so stuck up and rude. Internally, you told yourself no matter how much time you had to spend following this guy around you would not end up looking like you have a stick up your ass like everyone else did.

“Alright, here are your personal quarters. Take this key card, it opens the door and can lock it from the inside if you need it to. That datapad over there has your work schedule loaded on it and it has the general schedule the base operates on, like when the cafeteria opens and closes and where the higher ups will be and when.” He talked on as you stared at your miserable excuse for a room-because that's exactly what it was. There was a twin sized bet up against the far right wall, an extremely small kitchen to the left of the bed, a small table with one small rickety chair tucked under it, and then two closed doors that you could only assume were a bathroom and a closet. Yep, just as boring as the rest of the base. Not a color in sight.

_Your arm itched_

“Your first day of work starts tomorrow, you will meet Kylo Ren outside of his quarters at 8 am, from there you will meet his every professional need until 7 pm, then you will be free to move about the base as you'd like.

You scratched your arm, your right shoulder, as you turned to look at your new friend. “Who the fuck's Kylo Ren?” You asked, taking a sip of the soda you were allowed to bring with you from the shuttle. You could almost see the eye holes of his helmet widen in disbelief, he must have been thinking you were incredibly stupid. “Kidding, only kidding.” You said with an awkward laugh.

Everyone in the galaxy knew who Kylo Ren was. While most people feared him, you actually admired him. You knew quite a lot about him, probably a lot more than most people. There was even a song that you could use to describe how you felt about him:

So tall, handsome as hell, so bad...

You shook yourself out of it, you had started singing it in your head. You told yourself once you got to your new job you'd give up pop culture. It may jeopardize your job.

Your new friend shared a few more details about the base with you, then bid you farewell. You let out a small sigh as you lifted your suitcase onto the bed and began to unpack. From across the room there was a small ding, you looked over just in time to see your datapad flash off- you had gotten a notification. You sauntered over and took your tablet in your hand, unlocking it and tapping on the message icon. Your messages were empty except for one line, you tapped on it.

 

**K. Ren: I expect you to be outside of my quarters at 7:50 am tomorrow.**

 

You rolled your eyes at the message. No hi? No introduction? You knew Kylo Ren, but you were sure he didn't know you. Why be cordial and introduce yourself when you could jump immediately into scare tactics with your new employee I guess. “Whatever.” You said out loud, typing out your reply:

 

**You: I got you boss**

 

You dropped your datapad not so softly onto the table where you found it-you had a nicer one at home anyway. You thought nothing more of the short conversation with your boss as you found your way to the fridge in your less than impressive kitchen. As you opened the fridge door you frowned, The First Order had only stocked enough food to make a plate of bacon, eggs, toast, and some milk. Did they expect you to just eat breakfast foods for your entire time in the Order? This was so sad.

Remembering what the trooper said about the cafeteria having stock foods as well as prepared meals, you opted to eat breakfast for dinner tonight and would stock up on more food tomorrow evening. So you cooked a small plate and ate it happily in front of your small tv on your small couch.

_Your arm itched._

It had been itching since yesterday when you got the last part of your medical clearance. They told you not to scratch at it, scratching may hurt-

Your datapad beeped again and lit up with a bright red First Order logo. Stuffing an entire piece of bacon in your mouth you unlocked it and saw a message at the top of your screen.

 

**K. Ren: And I suggest you get better at checking your messages.**

 

You were confused, what the fuck was he talking about? You opened the messenger app and saw you had missed a message from him from about half an hour ago, right before you started cooking.

 

**K. Ren: I believe you meant “yes Commander.”**

 

 _Ugh._ You moaned to yourself. This was going to be _that_ type of job.

 

**You: My apologies Commander. I was making myself dinner. I meant “yes Commander.”**

 

You sent it with a heavy sigh, your first day of work would be very interesting.

 


	2. Chapter 2

You stood outside the Commander's door at 7:55. You had gotten there 2 minutes prior expecting to see him waiting for you, but he wasn't. Why had he told you to show up ten minutes early if he wasn't going to be early as well? You sighed, wrinkled your nose at the thought; your black glasses moved on your face.

You hated these damn glasses. They were too big and too wide for your face, but you had to wear them. They told you contacts wouldn't work and wouldn't let you choose another frame, so you were stuck with these ugly things that constantly felt like they were falling off your face.

You played with the hem of your flowy black dress, you had your choice of a pencil skirt, that dress, or a work suit. You refused the suit and the pencil skirt, your personality was too relaxed for that professional attire. Besides, the dress, although bland, was cute. You sighed heavily, everything you were wearing was black. Boring.

To pass the time you began counting the tiles on the floor and ceiling. When you got to number 33 on the ceiling and 32 on the floor the door to the Commander's quarters flew open, nearly hitting you square in the face. He didn't see you right away, he stood in front of you looking left and right. He was dressed how you had seen him in every photo that was shown to you: Black robes, black pants, black boots, black helmet, black cowl and black long sleeved shirt. Boring.

Before speaking up and making your presence known you stole a look at your datapad: 8 am on the dot. So, Ren was a punctual individual. “Commander?” Very quickly he took a look over his shoulder. When he saw you he did a very crisp about-face, placing his hands behind his back and looking down at you. You stared back at the silver grille, you wished he'd remove his helmet. His actual face was so much better looking than that weird ass helmet.

You smiled sweetly up at him, the guy was extremely tall! Never mind what people back home told you, experiencing Kylo in person was very intimidating. “You are late.” He said matter of factly. You couldn't stop the look of disappointed shock on your face. Three minutes, you had been three minutes late. And when you did get there he wasn't even ready for you! He would have made you wait outside of his door for ten minutes by yourself waiting for him.

You blinked as you realized he was still staring, he expected a response. How do you even respond to something like that? You desperately wanted to fire back with a sarcastic response about how unreasonable he was, but you knew that could land you in some dangerously hot water. “I apologize Commander.” _I didn't realize you expected me to be as disgustingly punctual as you._

A normal person who knows the Commander as well as you do would never think such a thought so close to him. He could read minds silently with the Force, which was a scary ability in and of itself. Seeing so vividly what the creep sitting behind you would do to you if he had you all to himself for five minutes? No way. Luckily, before you were sent for this job they had taught you how to hide your thoughts away so no one who had Force abilities could hear them, it was a great tool to have.

He didn't acknowledge your apology, instead he turned and began to walk away. With an eyeroll, you followed him. You were his assistant after all, you had to do what he says and you couldn't complete your job standing around outside of his door.

 

You walked closely by his side, not wanting to stay too far and get lost. “I'm y/n!” You said, once again trying to get on his good side by acting sweet and innocent. “I know who you are.” He said coldly, he didn't even bother looking at you or even your general direction. “Well, cool.” You said in reply, turning your head and looking to where you were going. God, did every inch of this base look identical to the next? You could have sworn you walked down the same hallway four times by now.

“You had to pass three major security clearances. What makes you think I wouldn't know your name?” Just as he finished his sentence he stopped in front of a door. The plaque on it said “Commander Kylo Ren.” Fancy. “I'm not sure. I just thought I'd introduce myself, Commander.” He stared at you for a few seconds then turned to the door. “This is my office. I don't spend a lot of time here, but you probably will. Your first task-” He opened the door and the sight made your jaw fall right off of its hinge. “Clean my office. You have two hours.”

It looked as if a tornado followed by a cyclone had blown through this room. You could recognize a desk in the center that was covered in papers, candy wrappers, coffee cups made of ceramic and paper, old food, and a mess of pens and markers. There were two lounge chairs in front of the desk that were mostly covered in the same mess, and in the corner stood what looked like the chair that belonged in behind his desk. On that chair was a jumble of black clothes and-was that a pair of panties?

_Your arm itched_

You took a step inside and stared in fascination at the wreck. You never thought Kylo Ren could be such a slob. More importantly, why would he be brazen enough to have another woman's underwear out in the open for anyone to see. What would you even do with them when it came time to pick them up? The thought of touching another woman's underwear made your skin crawl right off of your bones.

You weren't guarding your thoughts so he obviously heard you. He hurried past you and picked up the lost garment and hastily shoved it in his pocket. You giggled to your self, must be embarrassing.

“Like I said, two hours. Contact me on the holopad if you need me.”

“Yes Commander Ren Sir!” You said with a hint of humor in your voice. That humor was not reciprocated, however. He just stared at you for a few seconds and then walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Once he was gone you took another look around the room, wondering where you should start cleaning. Your eyes darted from the mess on the floor to the mess on the desk. Maybe the easiest thing to do was throw everything on the floor? You huffed as you realized this was not in the job description. Regardless, if you wanted to keep this job you'd have to do it. So you swallowed your pride and got to it, beginning to pick all of the papers up from the desk.

 

You had just set the last paper down in his stack of papers to go through when the door opened behind you. “Time's up.” He said as he entered. You stood, a proud smile on your face as you showed off how much you had gotten done. His entire desk was spotless, you had piled all of the papers next to it for him to go through and find out what was important to keep and what was trash. The pens and markers had been collected up and put in a clean mug, and everything that was trash was put in a trash bag and put next to the door. The clothes that were piled on the chair you weren't sure what to do with, so you folded them up and stacked them on one of the lounge chairs.

“Impressive.” He said, then he looked down at the huge stack of papers-seriously, it must have been at least a foot and a half tall. “These papers, did you read through any of them?”

“No Commander.” It wasn't a lie, you didn't have to read through them. He stared at you, you knew he was picking through your memories to see if you had lied or not because of the slight headache. But it was true, you really didn't need to read through his papers. You smiled when he was finished, proud that you took your first mental interrogation so well. “Well that's unfortunate. Because now you're going to sort them. One pile for expired and one pile for not expired.”

You blinked at him, quickly hid your thoughts among themselves. _You've got to be fucking kidding me._ You took another look back at the pile of papers, it had taken you so long to stack them, now he wanted you to sort them? Why could he not have told you that before? “Is there a problem?” He asked, pulling you from your rather angry and annoyed thoughts. “No Commander.” You said sadly as you sat to start sorting. “Good. Message me when you're finished.”

 

It took you another three hours to sort through his papers. You had to write the current date down on a sticky note because you had forgotten what it was twice while sorting. Originally you planned on making just two piles: one for in date and one for expired. But you had to make a third, one for “I can't find the date on this,” and then just to be on his good side you made a pile for “expiring in a week.”

You messaged him and he made his way up to his office. You were smiling at him, this one a little less authentic than the last few. You explained to him what the piles consisted of, he took a step past you and looked on. “Excellent. You are doing well.” The less authentic smile faded into a beaming smile of pride once more, maybe now he'd let you go on your break.

“Now shred them.”

“What?!”

“I said shred them.” Tears nearly spilled from your eyes. “Shred...what? The expired paperwork?”

“Shred it all.”

“Why?!” You could hardly believe what you were hearing. All that time and effort into making his life a lot easier gone down the drain as you had to destroy all of the papers. “Because I am your boss and you do as I say. Now shred them.” He said as he left the room. Once you were absolutely certain he had left the area you let out an exasperated sigh, followed by a 'what the FUCK!' out loud.

 

The shredding machine could only fit one paper at a time. What sort of shredder only fits one paper at a time? “A stupid one, for sure.” You said as you kicked it. The piece of paper going currently being sucked down the blades stopped suddenly right after you did. You nearly had a heart attack as you leaned up and shook it, frantically telling the inanimate object 'sorry' over and over again until you got it working. It was then you realized you were hungry, and you wanted your break. The trooper told you you got one mandatory hour long break and two half an hour if you wanted them. So you picked up your datapad to message your boss.

 

**You: I am almost done, Commander. May I please take my break now?**

 

You set it down and went back to shredding-if he agreed no reason to have more work waiting for you when you got back right? After five minutes your tablet dinged:

 

**K. Ren: Yes. You have one hour.**

 

With a smile on your face you quickly stood up and moved to leave the room, nearly forgetting your tablet on the floor next to the shrinking pile of papers.

 

You went to the cafeteria and grabbed a slice of pizza and a pretzel for lunch, looking over the news on the base to pass the time while you ate alone. You realized how lonely you looked, you wondered if anyone pitied you at all. Back in high school you always felt bad for the kids you saw eating alone, everyone deserves a friend. You were hoping you wouldn't have to eat alone eventually, you'd be here for upwards of a year, you had to make at least one friend!

Once you were done eating you still had a good 20 minutes left on your break, so you simply sat there. You didn't want to go back to work and you didn't want to go home really, so you looked over the news some more. Well, not really. What you did was idly flip through news pages while you imagined quite the lewd image.

What was it like for that woman who got fucked in Kylo's office? You imagined with his good looks it wasn't hard for him to draw women to his bed (or in this case that chair or his desk). You smiled, getting fucked by your boss in his office where anyone could see. Now THAT was a good fantasy. Not like you wanted to fuck Kylo, really. You knew so much about him to know that he wasn't a good person, and you just weren't interested.

But you were a very sexual creature, sex was coded in your DNA. You enjoyed having sex-it was fun. But you weren't irresponsible, you hardly ever fucked on the first date and you did your best to make sure whoever you were fucking was clean and was generally an outstanding individual that wouldn't drag you through the mud the next day. You didn't want to go too long without finding a good partner on Star Killer, but you knew it could take some time to find someone you were satisfied with. But you didn't mind waiting, better to wait and find someone good than regret someone in the morning because you weren't patient enough.

But you decided to start looking once you got off work, no harm in just starting to look on your first day, right? Right. But first, you had to get back to shredding your bosses papers.

 

Once your break was over you got back to work, taking another hour to shred his papers and messaging him once you were finished.

“Good job, y/n. Now go get me a coffee.” You relaxed just a little, you knew that line had to have been coming sooner or later, what else to office assistants do anyway? “How do you like it?” You had asked him. “Black.”

_Damn._

_“_ Nothing at all? No sugar, no cream?”

“I said black.” You bit your lip. You had never known anyone to take their coffee completely dry. “Yes Commander.” You said, then made your way to the little coffee machine outside of his office.

When you returned the Commander was sitting at his now spotless desk going through his datapad. You set the coffee down on the table, expecting him to drink it.

But wait, he had his helmet on. That wouldn't work. So you just stood and waited for his next direction.

“Thank you, y/n. You're dismissed for the time being.” He said, not looking up from the tablet. “Sir? It's not even 7 pm yet. Are you sure you don't need anything else?” A beat of silence passed and you regretted not immediately running away from him. I mean what if he made you shred more papers?

“No, I will message you if I need your assistance before 7. You are dismissed.” You nodded your head at him. “Yes, Commander. I'll see you when I see you.” You said as you took a step back, waiting for a reply from him. But he never did, never even looked up at you. So you left, wanting to get as far away from him as you could in the shortest amount of time.

What an exhausting first day of work. It was now time to have some fun though, grocery and boy shopping.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will reader actually find a guy she wants to fool around with?  
> Now taking bets on if she will or not.


	3. Chapter 3

After your first day of work you had a better idea of what to expect from your boss, nothing but sarcasm and pointless tasks to keep you busy. Every morning that you met with him outside his door you'd offer him a cheery 'good morning!' but he'd almost never reciprocate. He'd just continue on with his commute to his office, to which you followed him.

After working for him for two weeks you learned what he needed you to do pretty well: coffee, get paperwork from various First Order staff, get his dirty laundry to the cleaners, run more paper work, get his lunch, get his clean laundry to his quarters, then you were free to sort his datapad messages for him anywhere you wanted to on the base. If it was before 7 pm then there usually wasn't too much to do for him after that.

You managed to make a friend one afternoon at the beginning of your third week. You were delivering some papers needing to be signed by General Hux. They were execution papers for a storm trooper who had lost an arm during battle. Without an arm there isn't much a former trooper can do, and it's not like they can just release him with all of his knowledge of the First Order, so he must be terminated. Ren, in this case, chose a lethal injection as his way of ending the troopers life.

So you moseyed on down to General Hux's office, ready to get his signature and then take your break. You had gotten your hands on some delicious star fruit that you were dying to eat and it was just waiting for you in your dorm. You knocked on Hux's door and waited patiently for him to answer. When the door finally opened you weren't met with Hux, instead there was a younger man about your age. He had short and wavy blonde hair, green eyes, and was dressed sharply in a white dress shirt and black jeans.

“Oh! Sorry, I was...I was just looking for Hux? Need him to sign some paper work from the Commander.” Damn this guy was cute. “Yeah, the General has stepped out for his break, I can put them in his office if you'd like.” He held out his hand and you handed him your papers with a tiny smile. “Yes that's fine. I'll just come back...?” You let the question linger to ask when the General would return. “About an hour, give or take.”

“Okay, cool.” You said, taking a few steps back. Perfect amount of time to take your lunch and come back. Just as you started to turn away from him, however, he stopped you. “Wait!” He said, you stopped and looked back at him. He looked flustered and confused, he was so adorable! “Mayb-Maybe I should get your datacode? You know, so I can...er. Message you?” You smiled once again, the realization hit that he was into you. Which was good, cause you were certainly into him. “Sure, I'll put it in your tablet. So you can _message_ me.”

He smiled at you for the first time, showing his teeth as he handed his datapad over to you. “I'm Noah, by the way.” He said as you typed your code in. “Y/n.” You said, handing his tablet back to him. “Okay then, Y/n. I'll message you when the General gets back.” You nodded and bid him a farewell, turning and leaving down the hall.

You pulled out your own datapad, messaging your boss and telling him what was going on and that you'd take your break. Once you got the okay from him you nearly sprinted down the halls to your room, thinking about how delicious both your star fruit and Noah were going to be.

 

The first time you and Noah went on a date was spontaneous. You had made a habit of dropping off paperwork to Hux when you knew Noah would be there to accept it, you would chit chat here and there when you had the chance and then get back to work. One day, however, he stopped you before you left. “Hey, are you going to be taking your break soon?”

“I was just about to take it now, why?” You asked, although you knew exactly why he had asked and it made your heart flutter. “Well, if you could wait ten minutes for the General to get back I could go on my break. I was just wondering if you'd like to go to the cafeteria with me?” You smiled at him. “You mean like a date? You wanna go on a date with me, Noah?” He nervously and awkwardly placed his hand behind his back. “Only if you want to.” You rapidly threw your arms around him, causing you two to stumble back slighty. “I would love to!” You said, happy to now have a friend in the Order.

 

One date with Noah turned into two, turned into five, turned into a shared break in his dorm spent making out and feeling each other under the covers. His hands moved so soft and freely over your skin, his lips found there way anywhere you allowed them to go. He stopped every once and a while to tell you how beautiful you were, how soft your skin was, and about how he couldn't wait to be inside of you.

You thought you were ready, ready to have your fun with Noah. You nodded at him and began the process of removing each others clothing. He had put on a show for you first, stripping slowly down to his boxers. You watched excitedly as he grasped the waistband and tugged down-

Your datapad beeped and buzzed. You painfully drew your eyes away from Noah's crotch and looked over at where you left it on the table. Initially, you weren't going to answer it. But then you realized the only two people who ever message you were Kylo and Noah, so it had to have been your boss. You reached over for it but Noah stopped you, grabbing your hand and pulling it to his waistband. “Hey, that's not important right now.” You removed your hand, once again reaching for your tablet. “It's the Commander, it's probably important.” Noah leaned back in defeat, watching you as you grabbed your tablet and unlocked it.

 

**K. Ren: Your break is over. Come back to my office immediately.**

 

You checked the time, you had only been on your break for 25 minutes, you still had 35 minutes left. 35 minutes that you were planning on using to have sex. You were just Ren's assistant, why would he need your help so urgently and immediately?

“What is it?” Noah asked. “I-I don't know.” You said as you started to type out your reply.

 

**You: I still have 35 min left, is something wrong?**

 

You and Noah sat silently and waited for the Commander to reply. “Well, should I get dressed then or?” Noah asked, you rolled your eyes and ignored him as you got another message.''

 

**K. Ren: No. When I say your break is over then it's over. Now get back to my office before I write you up for insubordination.**

 

“Wow.” You said as you started to stand up. No winning this battle so you might as well comply. “He's going to write me up if I don't go back to his office right this second.” Noah gave you a blank expression as you began to fix your appearance. “And you're just going to go? Y/n that's not right.”

“I know, but it's the Commander, and I don't want to be written up.” You gathered up your tablet and walked over to give Noah a kiss goodbye. “Alright then. Just be careful. I heard he once chained a woman to his bed for 3 days.” You laughed, knew exactly who he was talking about. “Please,” you said, opening the door to his dorm. “She was rescued by Resistance members.”

 

You made it back to his office in record time and for some reason Ren was furious with you. “Explain to me why you were in the second set of dormitories today?” He angrily crossed the room, arms crossed over his chest and face slightly flushed red with anger. “I was hanging out with a friend during my break, Commander.” You tried to stay calm and cool, but your anger from your real personality was starting to show its face.

“You are not allowed to be in dormitory halls that you are not assigned to, y/n.” You knit your eyebrows together, that wasn't a rule in the First Order and you knew it. “If I ever catch you down there again you'll be written up on a first and final. No exceptions.” You crossed your arms over your chest, you were ready to argue with him. There was no reason for him to be so ridiculously outraged over you going to another dorm block.

“Okay then Commander. I won't be going to different dorms then.” You bit back the urge to roll your eyes. “Then I'll be resuming my break in my own dorm. Be back in-”

“Absolutely not y/n. You are going to sit here at the edge of my desk for the remainder of your shift.” With a wave of his hand one of the chairs that sat in front of the desk moved to the side. You were livid. “Why-” _the fuck_ “-can't I finish my break?” You asked accusingly. You crossed your arms over your chest and stood your ground, you imagined you looked like a child to him, but you didn't care. If you weren't acting at the moment you would have went off, letting Ren know everything you knew about him. It would have gotten you killed, but at least you would have died a hero in your own mind.

“Because I said so, now sit!”

If you hadn't been trusted to take this job you would have left. But no, you did as you were told. Plopping down as defiantly as you could, you made sure not to look your boss in the eye. He stared at you, even when he sat down at his desk next to you he wouldn't take his eyes off of you. What a fucking creep.

_Your arm itched_

You angrily scratched at it, this was so stupid. What did he expect you to do for the remainder of your shift? Sit here and stare at the wood on his desk? “You may sort my messages, y/n.” You didn't look up at him, but you obeyed him. You slipped your tablet from your dress pocket and accessed his inbox and spent the next hour and a half sorting his messages.

 

Afterword you sat and silently thought to yourself. You thought about your friends back home, you thought about your mother and father, and then your thoughts turned to Noah.

_Oh my god I can't wait to see him again tomorrow. His lips were perfect, he kissed me everywhere I needed him to. I felt so safe. Ugh! The way he kissed down my neck, to my collar bones, and sucked on the spot in between them. Lord, I could have died right there. Imagine his lips somewhere else...kissing his way down to my-_

_“_ Y/n!”

You jumped as Kylo shouted your name in your ear next to you. You weren't hiding your thoughts, whoops. “Y-Yes commander?” He was looking at you just as angrily as he was when he was yelling at you the first time. “Fetch me a cup of coffee.” He strained though clenched teeth. You knew he was angry because of your thoughts, you could admit they were not very professional. So you stood and did just that, got him his favorite coffee. When you returned he was not as angry as when you left him, he had calmed down in the 5 minutes you were gone.

You set it down on the desk and sat back in your seat, everything was quiet between you two for another five minutes until he broke the silence. “I'm sorry, y/n. I didn't mean to get so upset at you earlier.” He refused to look at you while he was apologizing, but you still gave him a crooked smile for being considerate enough to say he was sorry. “It's alright boss.”

“Just don't go into that dormitory hall again, I wouldn't want you to lose your job over it.”

“Sure, Commander. I understand.”

At the time you didn't exactly know why Kylo had made up such a preposterous lie about the not entering another dorm hall. You figured he had found out about you and Noah and that's why, but you didn't know why he had gotten so upset.

 

You would find out why a few days later when you forwarded him a message about a meeting happening that afternoon. He had asked you to accompany him for he was kind of irritated that the General was holding a meeting in the first place. All you had to do was sit in the back and transcribe what was being said and send it to the Commander once it was over.

The only issue was the meeting was boring, watching grass grow would have been more entertaining than sitting through the meeting. At one point you nodded off and when you woke up you panicked thinking you had missed something important. But no, the higher ups were still rambling on and on about some planet with some resources they needed.

The gist of it was Hux wanted Kylo to accompany him to the planet to speak with its leader but Kylo didn't want to go, so most of the meeting was just his colleagues telling Kylo to go to the planet and Kylo saying variations of the word “no.”

Eventually, however, they had gotten it into Kylo's head how important the planet and the resources were to the First Order and he begrudgingly agreed to go. Everyone around the room thanked him with the smiles, briefly spoke of the mission and what it would entail, then it ended. While everyone else filed out of the room Kylo stayed seated. He had placed the helmet on the desk and was tapping his fingers on it, he looked so angry you almost pitied him.

“Commander, may I please be dismissed?” You had gotten up to ask, there was no reason to be sitting here if there was nothing to transcribe and Kylo was doing nothing. He looked at you, sighed heavily, then stood. “I'm going to be gone for a while, y/n. I hope that you can keep yourself occupied while I'm gone.” He took three steps toward you. “I'm sure I'll be okay, Commander. Have fun on your trip.”

He took another step toward you and you noticed something changed in his eye, a change of light? Color? Pupil size? You couldn't tell. But whatever it was, it scared you. The corner of his mouth twitched slightly and he licked his lips, he took another two steps in your direction. “You'll need to still forward all of my important messages to me even while you're not working. Can you do that?”

By now you were taking steps back to avoid him, but soon you ran out of steps. You began to sweat as your back made contact with the wall, Kylo was still advancing toward you. What was going on? What the hell was he doing? You braced your palms on the wall as Kylo stood painfully in your comfort zone, he was waaaaay too close. “Y-Yes Commander.” You stuttered. When it didn't seem like he could get any closer he started moving his head closer to you.

Had the Commander always had such beautiful, plump, red lips? They looked so soft and-

“Can you, y/n? Can you do this for me?” Suddenly his lips were on yours, they were just as soft as they looked. It just started out as a peck, almost as if he was just resting his lips on yours. But then he started to move them against you, slowly but surely they became opened mouth kisses and you were giving them back to him. Your lips moved together as his hands found their way to your hips, yours to his shoulders.

You didn't know what was happening, well, yeah you did. You were making out with your boss, plain and simple. Although it was a complete shock the first few seconds you relaxed and eventually allowed him to kiss you. Your fingers flexed in his robes, you didn't want him to let go of you. His body was so warm and his lips were so comforting you wished you could just kiss him forever.

Right before he pulled away from you he moaned, he stared deep into your eyes as you tried to decide what you wanted out of the situation now. What is it that one does after having a make out session with their abusive boss? Was this his way of saying goodbye to you? If so, you were ready to say goodbye to him anytime he had to leave. He was a stellar kisser.

He took a step away from you, your let your arms limply fall from his shoulders. “I'll be back in a few days. Don't forget to keep sorting my emails.” He said, right before turning and grabbing his helmet. He placed it on his head and, without another word, left the room.

You were left with one thought that you refused to hide in your head:

_What the fuck just happened to me?_

 


	4. Chapter 4

That same night you were sitting in your bed staring at the wall. You had asked yourself what happened between you and your boss several times that day, it just didn't seem real. His lips were much softer than they looked, he knew how to work them against yours expertly. And then _oh my god_ his hands. A man like Ren didn't come across as someone who could run his hands up and down your hips very softly, he looked anything but soft if you were going to be completely honest.

What did it even mean?

He made out with you and then instructed you to keep doing your job, didn't say bye or invite you out for a drink or anything. For all you knew he was just feeling lonely and used you, he probably didn't have feelings for you at all.

However, that didn't stop you from pleasuring yourself with the memory. Oh, how good would those lips feel elsewhere on your body? What about those giant hands? You found yourself wishing he'd come back, maybe he'd be worth dumping Noah for.

Wait, Noah! Kylo wasn't here and he couldn't stop you from seeing Noah. You smiled to yourself, quoting the words of Kylo himself you messaged Noah:

 

**You: Hey! Bucket head is gone...I will finish what you started in your dorm ;]**

 

Thirty seconds after hitting send you felt all desire for Ren fall off of you. He was exactly 11 years older than you and you kinda worked for him. Certainly the Order had some regulation on dating your superiors, right? Plus how would all your friends feel back home? I mean, this is the Kylo Ren they all said you should be afraid of. Besides, taking two lovers at once is not really your thing. You'd be better off with just Noah.

Your tablet dingged, it was Noah! Just in time too, your post orgasmic bliss was just ending.

 

**N. Kane: Hey y/n. I miss you a lot. I just got stationed on the Finalizer, new boss and everything.**

 

**You: What? Why?**

 

A sudden sense of loneliness washed over you, Noah was your only friend (unless you count Kylo...a kiss meant he at least didn't hate you) in the Order. You had come up with a master plan to hang out with him every day while Ren was gone. Now what?

 

**N. Kane: I don't really know Hux told me two days ago I was being moved. It wasn't his order.**

 

You frowned, all of the sudden your first sexual encounter with Noah being cut short made sense. Why hadn't you realized? “The Force, duh.” You said out loud. You must have been in range and he could hear or feel you getting down and dirty with Noah. Your boss obviously has some sort of feelings toward you, he didn't want Noah touching you at all.

 

**You: Will I get to see you again?**

 

**N. Kane: I hope. They might let me come visit on SKB. Right?**

 

**You: Yeah, they hopefully will. Maybe I can come visit you :)**

 

You never got a reply. Your one and only friend during this job gone right out of your grasp. All because Kylo thought he wanted you more than he did.

 

 

You just hunkered down into bed after enjoying a shower one evening. Kylo had gotten a lot of useless messages today, lots of reports of non important personell injuries, lots of stupid and out of time frame time off requests. Didn't his staff know time off was only allowed after three years of perfect service? That was one of the details you learned when studying the First Order so carefully. This job wasn't supposed to take three years, maybe a year at the most, three months at the least. You wouldn't be getting any vacation time while working.

You sent the last of the important emails to Kylo and set your datapad down with a heavy sigh. You wondered momentarily if he even read these messages. Even the ones that were deemed “important” seemed useless to him. But oh well, you were just doing your job. You switched your TV on and settled on reruns of an old TV show you used to watch at home. It brought you back and made you think about your friends on the now distant planet you were from. You wondered if they remembered you, if they were even thinking about you. Since taking this job you weren't allowed to message them and they weren't allowed to message you, it was dangerous. You thought for a minute about typing in your best friends Data code and saying what's up, but you really didn't want to botch this job.

As it turned out, someone was thinking about you. Your datapad went off with a jingle, a small detail you had changed earlier that day. It was Kylo thanking you for your work. You put your datapad on lock and set it down again, you didn't really feel like taking to him at the moment. Instead of relaxing and watching your show you grew irritated when your datapad went off again five minutes later, it was 11 pm, what was anyone messaging you about this late?

 

**K. Ren: How are things back at home? I miss you.**

 

Your brows knit together in confusion. Was Kylo really trying to strike up a conversation. More importantly, you had gotten over his decision to kiss you and pushed all feelings you had about him into the back of your mind. Then he just had to trot along and say he missed you, your loneliness was beginning to creep away, you had begun to miss him as well. He was giving you the human contact you so desperately wanted at the time.

 

**You: SKB is okay, nothing much going on over here.**

 

**K. Ren: That's good. I wish I was there, I'm very stressed at the moment.**

 

Why was he telling you this? What was making him all of the sudden want to converse with you? You thought that, maybe, he had come to his sense and realized you worked for him, that kissing you and trying to start any type of unprofessional relationship with you was a bad idea. Guess you were wrong.

And so were you, because you know how these types of conversations typically ended, and with no more Noah you were lonely. So you welcomed the conversation with Ren. You'd entertain him just this once, then no more sexy time with your boss.

 

**You: Oh, I'm sorry. I wish I could help.**

 

You giggled, you were so _bad!_ Truthfully, you didn't know if Ren was even willing to do this with you right here and right now. Maybe he just wanted to be friendly with you. You subtly panicked, you really couldn't lose your job over this, it wasn't over yet. So you set your datapad down, agreeing that Kylo was very handsome and would probably be top dog (literally) in bed but you couldn't have him, your job was on the line here. However, the next message made that entire mindset of yours go right out the window.

 

**K. Ren: How would you help me relax?**

 

You bit your lip, smiled, and squealed really loud. This was happening, it really was.

 

**You: Um, I don't know. I could chat with you? Or maybe rub your back. Or you could kiss me again.**

 

It was a bold move, but it was what you wanted. So what if you flirted with your boss a little? Everyone flirts. You told yourself in that moment: Flirting is okay, sex is not.

 

**K. Ren: I would love to kiss you again.**

 

**You: Well, my lips aren't going anywhere.**

 

Truth be told, you really did want to kiss him again. He was an exquisite kisser and just that one interaction with him made you want him even more. The man was clouding your better judgment.

 

**K. Ren: There are other places I'd like to kiss you.**

 

**You: Like where?**

 

**K. Ren: Your cheeks, your neck, your collar bones.**

 

That text shot right through you, stirring pleasure throughout your loins. Remember what you said about no sex? Yeah, never mind. If Kylo was the one initiating it you couldn't get in trouble for it. Right? Right. So there you went, tumbling down the rabbit hole that was sexting with your boss.

 

**You: Hmm. Anywhere else?**

 

**K. Ren: Anywhere I want to.**

 

 _Possessive._ Hot. You were typing out your response when Kylo beat you to it.

 

**K. Ren: Your breasts always look so kissable.**

 

**You: Hehe. Really?**

 

**K. Ren: I would suck on them too. They're so big and they look so soft. I notice when you wear low cut dresses, you know.**

 

You smiled, that hadn't been your intention at all. You were happy with the attention, however, and you were happy with the fact that Kylo was attracted to you. It made you even more happy that he was the one moving this conversation along, not you.

 

**You: Sorry boss. I'll try to do better.**

 

**K. Ren: No need. I enjoy the view.**

 

Once you begun writing a reply, something about needing to buy shorter dresses you got another quick reply from him again.

 

**K. Ren: Do you want to see what you do to me y/n?**

 

There was only one thing that could mean. You quickly typed out your response, a big fat “yes!” and patiently waited for his response. It took the man ten minutes. Ten minutes to take one picture and send it to you. You could tell it was a picture because when you unlocked your tablet it said “multimedia message available.” You hastily clicked on Ren's name, your eyes lighting up as you feasted them on the image that stood before you.

It was a picture of his lap. He was wearing grey sweat pants and no shirt. In the middle of his lap stood a tent. A very _large_ tent. Your jaw hung slack, he couldn't possibly be that big! You had never seen a straining erection that big before. You thought maybe he had manipulated the lighting of the image, or stuck something in his pants to make himself appear bigger than he actually was.

You wanted to see the actual thing.

Was it okay to ask for a picture of your bosses penis? You were in this deep and there was no going back you might as well. Right? Right.

You started typing, but you struggled to think of a cute innocent phrase to get him to flash you his goods. But evidently you took too long, because he sent you another message.

 

**K. Ren: Looks like I have to take care of myself. Would you like to join me?**

 

You weren't quite sure what he meant by that question. Did he want you to masturbate with him? Was he speaking hypothetically, like if you had the opportunity would you join him? Who cares, you were starting to feel the need yourself, your boss didn't even need to ask.

 

**You: Sure, but will you show me?**

 

**K. Ren: You want to see my cock?**

 

You typed in yes and hit the send button faster than you ever had. You scrolled back up through your conversation and saw the picture of his erection in his pants. God, if he is really, truly, that big, he probably has no problem getting the ladies. If (and only if!) you ever got a chance to bed him you weren't even sure you'd be able to take all of him.

Mid thought your tablet jingled, an aarow at the bottom of the screen indicated there was a new message. Your heart fluttered as you scrolled down, there was an image of Kylos lap once again, but this time there was a giant white play button over it. He had sent you a video...a video! Your fingers shook as you hovered over the play button, once you hit play there was no going back. The sight of your bosses cock would forever be in your mind and you'd have to live with the fact that you had sexted each other.

As you hit tapped the screen you threw all caution to the wind. You knew this could and would likely carry on outside of the datapad, but you didn't care. Kylo had gotten you all worked up, you deserved this! You were missing your friends, you were missing Noah, but you had Kylo for some fucked up form of company. You were ready.

It started with Kylo rubbing his boner up toward his belly button. He traced it with his fingers then grabbed the waistband of his pants. Slowly but surely he pulled his waistband down and over his cock, it sprang free into your field of view.

If his covered cock impressed you, his naked cock knocked you right off of your feet. You hadn't seen anything like what you were looking at. Kylo was laying down on what you presumed was his bed, once he had his cock fully exposed it could literally touch his belly button it was so long. The head was red, really red and bulbous, you could tell he had already been jerking himself and pushing blood up into the head. He was thick, lots of veins and _my god_ he was long! Safe to say, you were impressed.

Again, he snaked his fingers up and down his cock, pausing once to grip the base in his hands and jerk himself a little bit more, then the video ended. “Nooo.” You whispered to yourself. You didn't want it to end, you wanted him to keep touching himself until he came. You were frustrated to say the least, maybe he'd send you another video? It wouldn't hurt to ask.

 

**You: Wow. You're huge. I don't know if I could take anything that big lol.**

 

**K. Ren: Are you sure? You could send me a picture and I can try to see how tight your pussy is. We can find out right now.**

 

Wow. Your own boss had asked you to send him nudes. The suggestion shocked you, you knew of the risk of sending naked pictures of yourself to other people, that's why you never partook. You didn't know what Kylo Ren was going to do if you sent him pictures of yourself. Likewise, he didn't know what you were going to do with those two photos and videos of himself. He must have had a lot of trust in you.

Bottom line, no matter how far you went with your boss you would never send him nudes.

 

**You: Sorry boss, I don't do that kind of thing. It's dangerous.**

 

**K. Ren: I am Kylo Ren. My messaging line is as secure as secure gets. No one will intercept our conversation.**

 

Hah! That's what he thinks.

 

**You: I know it is, but still. I'm afraid.**

 

**K. Ren: There's no reason to be afraid. I'll take care of you.**

 

You weren't sure how to reply to that message. It was like he was going after you sexually but trying to be soft and caring at the same time. He didn't want you to be afraid, he was going to take _care_ of you? What a sap. You almost wanted to end the conversation right then and there. You weren't in this for a relationship with Ren, all you wanted was to see the man cum. Surely a man with a dick as big as his could cum a lot...god! The thought made you squeeze your thighs together, the thought mixed with the images was too much. You were going to get off on your boss who was currently getting off to you.

 

**K. Ren: Can you at least send me a picture of your tits with your shirt on? I'm close.**

 

Immediately after that text came in another video from the Commander came through. He was masturbating again, this time a lot faster. His breaths were quick and heavy, his hand moving a million miles a minute up and down his shaft. You could make out a bead of precum that had made its way to the surface of his cock-and from the way his head was shining you could tell he had already been rubbing his precum all over it.

You spread your legs as wide as you could and went to to town on your clit, replaying that video over and over again. It was the moans that got to you in, you _loved_ hearing your partners moan. Your toes were curling in the rhythm of your fingers that circled your clit, meanwhile your juices were flowing from your hole and onto your sheets below you. At some point you had to slow down to reply to Kylo, in fact you had to come to a full stop. You wondered how Kylo was able to reply to you and stay so aroused, because just typing out your next message made you dry up a little. Frustrating.

 

**You: No, I can't because I just got out of the shower and I'm completely naked.**

 

Your fingers made it back to your sex and you realized, Kylo had one advantage over you: The Force. He could either be using it to type or to jerk himself off. You imagined an invisible hand sliding over his cock and him leaning back and enjoying it...what a stupid image. You chuckled and scrolled back up to the last video of Kylo, you found yourself close to orgasm as well.

This didn't count as having sex, right? Of course not. Stop over thinking it.

 

**K. Ren: Wow.**

 

Is that really all he had to say? You shook your head.

 

**You: I'm touching myself now too. Wanna see?**

 

**K. Ren: Of course.**

 

You smiled as you flipped your blanket over your lap and reassumed your position. With your tablet in one hand and your other under your blanket you flicked your clit back and forth, making sure all he could see was your naked belly and your arm under the blanket. You his record throwing all caution to the wind. You did little moans, little moans that as the seconds ticked by became louder and more genuine. It finally struck you what you were doing.

This was your boss, someone that should be completely untouchable given this job you were trusted to complete. You were doing something you were originally too shy and too afraid to do, and you received three different images and videos of your _boss_ whacking it and you now knew for a fact that he was whacking it to you. Your fingers couldn't stop moving, your pleasure wouldn't stop building. Your toes were curling and your muscles were tensing so much so you forgot you were recording yourself. With a loud moan you came all over yourself, arching your back and tightening your grip on your datapad. You accidentally stopped recording the video and it automatically sent to Ren. Whoops.

It was a good minute before you got a response, a picture message. Kylo sprawled out, his cock now softening on his abdomen a few centimeters below his belly button. Splattered all the way up to his chest was his bright white strands of cum, more circular and thick up closer to his pecs and thinner strands on his belly.

Fuck- you had wanted to cum from seeing him cum, remember? You knew you had both been sticky from your own cum, it was just a shame you two were so far away from each other.

 

**K. Ren: I was going to record myself cumming but that video sent me over the edge. Sorry.**

 

**You: It's okay, I wanted to cum to you cumming any way but came way too early lol.**

 

**K. Ren: That just means we'll have to do this again. Goodnight y/n. I will see you in a few days.**

 

**You: Goodnight boss.**

 

With that, you set your datapad down on your bedside table and turned off the light, not wanting to continue the conversation any further. You wondered what he'd be like once he got back from his trip, how awkward would it be between you two now?

You didn't know and didn't quite care as you lay your head down and started to go to sleep. All you knew is now Kylo's needs weren't “professional” any longer, and your job would now be much more difficult than when you signed up for it.

Oh well. Life was about having fun whenever you could-and what you and Kylo just did was definitely fun.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name I use for this reader character is Sydney.   
> In my other fic (which I finished the other day!) I called that reader Lillyanne.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter because I have a cold and feel like I am literally dying at all hours of the day. Whenever I get free time I pop cold pills and sleep.  
> Hopefully will get the next chapter out asap when I start feeling better.

The days came and went without the Commander on base, nearly every day he was gone you watched the videos he had sent you. You were still recovering from the shell shock that this was your boss-the one and only Kylo Ren. When you originally accepted this job you never would have guessed you'd be doing anything like this with Kylo, hell-if you were being realistic you never would have guess you would be doing anything like that with anyone at all! All jokes aside, however, you decided you _had_ to put an end to it. They wouldn't be happy to hear you were getting down with Kylo Ren.

 

After eight days of no Kylo, you got a message from your boss out of the blue:

 

**K. Ren: Be ready to work tomorrow at 8 am sharp.**

Given your past experiences with Kylo you should have been excited. Considering the fact that you literally drooled over his monster of a cock and wanted it so bad. He had it on display just for you, how could you not want it? You would shamefully admit to getting yourself off from the videos multiple days while he was gone, but you needed it to stop, it couldn't go on any longer.

 

Much to your delight and dismay, when the Commander exited his quarters the next day he said nothing to you. Just as he normally did when you greeted him with your stock “good morning Commander Ren!” He ignored you, stomping past you in favor of going to his office. As much as you wanted him to talk about what the two of you did over the First Order messaging system, you were glad he wasn't bringing anything up. That would have just made everything more difficult for the both of you.

You followed him down the hall and to his office, going over the messages he had gotten over the night and deleting the useless ones. You had even almost forgotten you were supposed to be following Ren, you had walked this rout so many times with your nose to your tablet that it was automatic for you. Most of the time you didn't even go into Ren's office, he'd just hand you some paper work from inside and send you on your duties for the day. This time, however, was different.

You ran square into Kylo's back, he had stopped moving right before you usually stopped to talk to him. “Sorry, Comm-” He swung the door open and placed his hand on your shoulder, pushing you forcefully into his office.

You stumbled in, standing in the middle of his space and looking at him. What the hell was this all about?

“What happened a few days ago...” He started. He was wearing his helmet, something you knew he was doing to hide his emotions. Very rarely did he wear his helmet around you, at least after a few weeks when he grew more comfortable with you. You preferred him sans helmet anyway, anyone who didn't find him at least the slightest bit attractive was out of their mind.

“It was a mistake. A mistake that will not repeat itself. Am I clear?”

You breathed a huge, internal sigh of relief. That went better than expected!

_Your arm itched._

“Yes, Commander.” You said with a smile, happy you two were now on the same page. “Now go run these to Hux. I need them signed and dated within the hour.” He handed you a folder with three sheets of paper in it and you were on your way out the door.

At Hux's office you were met with Hux inside, a sight not usually seen. “Ah, Y/n! Glad to see you.” Hux was always so cheery, you enjoyed chatting with him when you could. You loved his hair, and you loved the constant feud that existed between him and Ren. It was A+ entertainment. It's just a shame he works for the First Order. You felt like you two would get a long so well at home.

You smiled at him, and just when you began to lift your arm to hand him the folder some movement in the back corner of the room caught your eye. You turned and were met with a woman. Slender, tall, dressed nicely, and old as dirt.

“This is my new assistant, Kim. Kim, Y/n.”

“How do you do Y/n?” Kim walked over to you and held out her hand. She had wrinkles all over her face, strong frown lines on her forehead and mouth, bright white hair, and liver spots all over her hands and face. You graciously took her hand and shook it wondering why such an old person was chosen to be an assistant to someone in the First Order. You could recall the time you had to sprint down the halls to get something Kylo left off of a departing ship, or having to stand for long periods of time waiting for one of Kylo's meetings to end. It just didn't seem like a job fit for the elderly.

“Very well, Kim.” You said cheerfully. Even though the woman had like fifty years on you, you were determined to make friends with her. Noah had been removed so suddenly from your life, the Commander wanted nothing to do with you, you hardly ever had a chance to talk to Hux, you were so alone. You were happy to see Hux got a new assistant because it meant you'd have a friend again!

You got Hux's papers signed and dated and left to deliver them back to Ren. On your way back a new poster on the walls caught your eye. It was bright and colorful, something so opposite to the usual First Order propaganda that lined the walls. You stopped and took the time to skim over it-you had fifteen more minutes to deliver the paperwork back to Kylo anyway.

 

“ _Join us in celebrating the annual_ First Order Ball! _Hosted on Star Killer Base in recreational room 3 on Saturday the 11 th 7-9 pm. There will be food, drinks, music, and more! Meet your superiors and coworkers outside of the normal rigid workplace climate and have a blast! Every Order employee is invited whether you are stationed on Star Killer Base or the Finalizer! Casual attire only.”_

 

You sat dumbfounded, with all the research you had done on the First Order you hadn't come across anything that even hinted at the thought of them having a ball. Honestly you didn't think anyone in the Order had fun except for you. Even Noah was a tad bit boring when on the clock. He and Hux were the only ones you had ever seen smile around here.

What got you really excited was the fact that all Order employees were invited, even the ones on the Finalizer. That meant Noah could come with you! He could be your date now that you had confirmed nothing was going on between you and Ren. You smiled as you raised your tablet to take a photo of the poster to send to him. Just as you got the picture lined up in frame your tablet vibrated and the little jingle indicated you had a message. You expected it to be Kylo, asking you where you were or why you hadn't returned with his paperwork yet, but it wasn't. It was Noah!

 

**N. Kane: Did you see this? Would you like to be my date?**

 

Attached was a photo of the same poster you were looking at and about to take a photo of. As soon as you saw his message your heart soared. You two were made for each other, doing nearly the same thing at the same time.

 

**You: Yes! I was literally standing in front of the same poster about to message it to you lol.**

 

**N. Kane: Great minds think alike I suppose. I'll see you this sat then! I'll pick you up at your dorm at 6:45.**

 

**You: Great, let me see if I can get Mr. Bucket head to let me off work early first. I usually get off at seven. Other wise I'll just meet you at the Ball :)**

 

**N. Kane: Sounds great y/n. I can't wait.**

 

Your heart was fluttering, another date with Noah this Saturday, and it was going to be extravagant!

 

You made it back to Kylo who was just leaving an interrogation. “Here's your papers Commander.” He took the paper work from your hands and looked over them. As he did you worked on hiding your thoughts. “Very good, y/n.” He said as he began to walk away. “Wait, Commander! I have a question.” He stopped mid turn and turned his head back to face you.

“So, the Saturday the First Order ball is, can-can I please get off at maybeeeee...5? I want to attend it and need to make sure I can get ready in time.” He stared at you.

_Your arm itched._

“You need two hours to get ready for a casual event?” You bit your lip, okay, that was kind of shallow. “Okay, 5:30?” Kylo did nothing but stare at you, letting the silence stretch long and hard between you two. “Will you be attending by yourself?” You doubled down on your thoughts, pushing them as far back into your mind as you could go. If he found out you were going with Noah you thought he'd be rather upset and wouldn't let you off early. “Yes Commander. Just gonna go to make some friends.” The familiar tickle crept into your mind, alerting you that he was currently sorting through your visible thoughts. Once the tickle faded you smiled at him, silently pleading for him to let you off early.

“Five forty five, no earlier than that.” You smiled real big, suppressed the need to hug your boss and thanked him happily. He sent you on a coffee run and you walked away from him as fast as you possibly go while still looking normal. Once you were sure you were out of his mind reading range you messaged Noah:

 

**You: See you on Saturday at 6:45 :D**

 


	6. Chapter 6

Saturday came quickly, and as soon as 5:45 came around you sent a message to Kylo letting him know you were clocking out and would be back to work the next day on time as usual. You didn't even wait for a reply since he had already cleared you to leave. There was no use taking it back anyway, if he told you you had to stay you wouldn't because you were already speed walking to your dorm to get ready.

You had packed a light and flowy navy blue dress just in case you had time off and wanted to go somewhere on the base that didn't require your uniform. It was nearly sleeveless and went down to your mid thigh. You added your black slip ons that had black bows attached to the tips of your toes and a pink ribbon that you so expertly and graciously (not) tied to your back. Then you did your make up, and then did your hair in a tight bun on the top of your head. Once it was all said and done you looked at yourself up and down in the mirror. You blood red lips parted in surprise at how smoking hot you looked. The combination of your eye liner and mascara brought out your e/c eyes viciously, the edges of your hair were laid flat and curved perfectly, your bun was perfectly round and looked exactly like a donut would if you tied one to your head, and your outfit showed your legs off perfectly!

Oh yeah, you and Noah were getting some tonight.

 

You had messaged your new friend Kim and asked if she was attending and to your surprise she said yes. She even told you that the General would be in attendance as well. You wondered briefly why Kim would want to go to the ball, she said she didn't dance and she didn't drink and didn't like loud parties. But then you remembered that the General was coming, and she had the biggest crush on that man. Every time she'd talk about his “fiery red hair” or his “gorgeous blue eyes” you'd roll your eyes and laugh at her, she was so silly it always made you laugh. You also thought it was ironic that while she had a crush on one of the First Order leaders, you had a slight “crush” (if you could even call it that) on the other.

Of course, she could never know that. She could never know how at the first sight of his member you fell into a state of lust for the Commander. It frustrated you to know end to know you couldn't have him, even just for one night. Even if you had Noah, you wanted Kylo! But you couldn't have him, because you both admitted that sexting each other wasn't a mistake.

But he couldn't stop you from looking over the photos and videos again and again. They made for great masturbation material. You had no shame.

In the middle of typing up your plans for the night to Kim you heard a knock at the door. “Noah!” You exclaimed as you launched from the couch and onto your feet. You were so busy talking to Kim that you hadn't checked the time: 6:46 pm. Before you answered the door you smoothed your dress and gave your hair a one over with your hands, using your tablet as a mirror. You were nervous for some reason, even though you and Noah had almost had sex. He had almost seen you naked but here you were worried about what Noah would think of your entire outfit. You were a mess.

You opened your door, and blurted out a playful “you're late!” to try and calm your nerves. You took a good, long look at the man standing in front of you: He had on black slacks and a blue button up t shirt. He was slim, so the shirt hardly showed off his figure, but you had seen him shirtless so you knew what Noah was looking with. He looked so good, you were tempted to invite him inside and let him have you right there on the couch. But no, your earlier thoughts of Ren had taken over your mind and you didn't think it would be fair to Noah for you to be fucking him and thinking of Kylo. That's when you decided that by attending the party, you would be ridding yourself of your thoughts of Ren for good. After tonight it was over, no more thoughts and no more getting off of his pictures. You'd delete them once you were finished with Noah.

“Heh, sorry. I ran into your boss. He's a scary dude y/n. Did you know that?”

“Yeah, of course he is. What did he say to you?”

“I'll tell you on the way. Ready to go?” He offered you his arm and you laced yours around his, butterflies danced in your stomach again and you were excited to be with Noah again!

 

“So he stops me and asks me what I was doing back on Star Killer, and my god I was shaking in my shoes. I didn't even know that he knew who I was, but he had called me out by name: 'Noah Kane, what are you doing on this base. You are stationed on the Finalizer.' and I was like 'very sorry sir. I was just coming back for the Star Killer Ball.'” You were confused, one because Noah said he ran into Kylo while he was in your dorm hallway. Kylo never goes into the dorms. Especially _your_ dorm. Two, you were both confused as to why he called Noah by name and knew he was supposed to be on the Finalizer. Noah was just one little assistant to Kylo's coworker, he wasn't important.

 

“So anyway, he's all 'why are you in these dorms?' and I'm like 'because my date is in this dorm, sir.' and I'm gulping and trying not to piss my pants the entire time, I didn't know if he was going to pull out that fire stick thing and slice me in half with it.”

“You mean his lightsaber?”

“Sure, that's what that is.” You giggled at him, he's much more entertaining than Ren, who was a hard ass most of the time.

“Ren takes a look around the hallway and looks back at me, and he says 'Your date is in this dorm block?' and I'm like 'yes commander, I'm picking her up right now.' He took another look down the hall, the looked at me again and said 'Very well then. I expect you to be on the flight back to the Finalizer at 9:30 sharp. Am I understood?' So I said yes and we both went our separate ways.”

“What a fucking weirdo.” You said in reply to Noah's long story. Kylo was a weirdo, you didn't know why he was in your dorm hallway and you likely didn't want to know. You didn't know why he gave Noah a hard time, he wanted nothing more to do with you so you were free to date whoever you wanted to-and that included the man Kylo had caught you with.

“Although, something I thought was weird was when I ran into him he was walking toward your dorm. I kinda ran into him coming around the corner closest to your dorm, but when we were done talking he left in the direction that hr came. I mean, he must have had a reason he was patrolling your dorm, why would he just have left without _finishing what he started._ ” The last part of that sentence Noah said in a low toned mocking voice that made you giggle. “I don't know man. Like I said he's weird.

“Maybe he was just being nosey and checking up on you, to see if you were actually going to the ball or just wanted to get out of working. I've heard he has a giant nose.”

“Please Noah. I'm sure he was. That mans nose is so big he can make people walk the plank off of it.” You both shared a nice long laugh and continued your walk to the rec hall, pushing all thoughts and feelings of your boss to the back of your mind.

 

Once you two had made it to the ball you had to have your employment records checked to make sure you were in good standing before you could enter. Once inside you were greeted with a plethora of people, loud music, and the sight and smell of alcohol. This celebration screamed more “party” than it did “ball.” Not that it mattered to you of course, you were ready for a good time either way.

As you took a look a look around you were amazed at all the smiling faces you saw. It was such a contrast to what you saw during work hours. Everyone was drinking and laughing and dancing and having a wonderful time. “What do you want to do first?” Noah shad shouted to you over the fast paced instrumental music. “Lets get a drink!” You said cheerfully. Noah smiled at you, took your hand and led you to the full sized and fully stocked bar.

As you approached you noticed Kim sitting on one of the stools. She was chatting up the bar tender and turned to greet you when the bar tender lifted his chin at you two. “Y/n! How are you doing. Have a seat.” You smiled as you took a seat next to your elderly friend. “Take it easy on the drinks, Kim. We don't need your old ass passing out at the bar.” Kim laughed at you, Noah however did not. As he looked away awkwardly you nudged him with your elbow. “Relax, this is my friend Kim. She actually replaced you.”

The three of you continued small talk together as you ordered and downed your drinks together, laughing and going on about bosses and coworkers and the like. You were about to order your third round of Brandy when Noah gently rested his hand on yours, drawing your attention from the bartender. “Lets take a dance break.” He had a look of sincerity on his face, like he had been looking forward to this night for a while and didn't want the whole night wasted on drinks. You agreed with him, you didn't want to wake up with a hang over tomorrow and not remember anything about this night with Noah. So you bid Kim goodbye, let her know if she needed anything to come grab you. Then you and Noah were off to the dance floor.

“This is really awkward.” You said to Noah as you held your tablet out in front of you. Had you been smart you would have brought a small messenger bag with you to put it in, or worn pants with big pockets, or better yet left the damn thing at home. Noah grinned at you, took the tablet out of your hands and jimmied it into his back pocket. “There, now I've got one for each butt cheek.” Noah joked. You smiled at him, then began dancing as best as you could to the up beat, synthetic instruments.

You and Noah were having so much fun being goofy on the dance floor. You two would swap off doing stupid dance moves until you decided you wanted to try and actually dance together, hand in hand. The both of you moved clumsily and happily together, pulling on each others arms and bouncing to the beat of the music. Neither of you cared that either of you couldn't dance, it wasn't like you came here to impress people with amazing cooperative dance moves. In fact, the only thing that was bothering you at the time was your big ass annoying glasses. Move too fast and they'd nearly fly off your face. Ugh. Why couldn't they have let you pick another pair?

“Hey, your tablet just vibrated, twice.” Noah suddenly said to you in the middle of your dance. “Ignore it.” You said, reaching behind Noah and into his pocket to hit the silence button on top. “I've got more important things to worry about right now.” You smiled as Noah held your one hand and twirled you around. However, your smile quickly turned to disgust as you spied Kylo Ren looming in the darkness next to the exit. He was, as usual, dressed in his all black robes and dawned his helmet upon his head. This did not seem like a place that Kylo would want to be, it didnt seem like he could take the stick out of his ass for long enough to enjoy himself at a party.

“What the fuck!” You exclaimed as you latched onto Noah's shoulders. “Don't look now but I think I see my boss.”

“Where?” He asked, looking over your shoulder. “Over there, by the exit. Do you see him? Is he there?” The only reason why you were afraid of your boss being at the ball was because you didn't want him seeing you with Noah. You had lied to him and you had guessed that Kylo thought something was up when he ran into Noah in your dorm block. You didn't expect to follow you here! “I don't see him, y/n.” You tossed a quick look over your shoulder where you had seen him, then scanned the room-he wasn't anywhere to be seen. You let out a heavy sigh of relief, relaxed your grip on Noah's shirt. “Do you want to sit down?” Noah suggested and you obliged him. You could use a short break.

 

“I'm sorry, it must be the alcohol.” You said as you accepted the glass of water Noah handed you. “It's alright, take your time girl.” He said as he started to sit next to you, he reached into his pocket to grab your tablet and handed it to you. “See who's been messaging you.” You turned your tablet on and saw you had not one, but three new messages.

 

**K. Ren: You better not be drinking. I don't need you inebriated at work tomorrow.**

 

**K. Ren: If you come to work hungover tomorrow I'm writing you up and you're getting suspended with unpaid leave.**

 

The last message, however, chilled your bones. You knew whether you complied with it or not you'd be in deep shit. Your heart rate sped up to an unimaginable rate, and from the way Noah said your name you knew you had probably gone white.

 

**K. Ren: Y/n you need to get to my quarters right now.**

 

“Noah, I'm-I'm in trouble.” You started to tremble. Ren really was there with you tonight. He saw you dancing and drinking with Noah and now he was angry with you for lying to him. You were going to get it, either tonight or tomorrow morning at work. “Why, what's happened?”

“Kylo Ren was here. He saw you dancing with me and now...he's going to...I need to...” You and Noah stood up at the same time. He grasped a hold of your shoulders and held you steady. “Y/n. Slow down. You don't have to do anything for him right now. It's outside of your work hours.” You struggled to compose yourself, but Noah was right. After 7 pm you didn't have to do anything for Kylo Ren. With shaky hands you typed out a response:

 

**You: Commander it's 8:30. I don't need to go to your quarters right now. I will see you tomorrow morning and we can talk then.**

 

You made sure you typed every word perfectly, going back and reading over the text several times to look for errors. You didn't want to sound too drunk to your boss when in reality you were just a little buzzed. Once you sent your reply off you sipped some more of your water and bounced your knee just a bit. You were nervous, but your don't-give-a-fuck attitude was failing you at the moment. “Will you be okay?” Noah asked you out of the blue. “I-I don't know Noah. I don't know what he even wants me in his quarters for. I've never been there with him.”

“Do you think he'll hurt you. Or r-”

Luckily for you your tablet vibrating cut Noah off from what he was going to say. You didn't want to even think about it.

 

**K. Ren: I said now.**

 

Those three little words shook you to your core. He didn't care that it was after your work hours, he wanted you where he was and he wanted you there now. “Noah, I have to go. I'm sorry.” You wiggled your way out of his grasp and headed for the door. “Wait, y/n wait!” He shouted after you, but you were gone, trotting your way out of the ball and down the hallways to the higher ups quarters.

 

**K. Keller: Are you okay hun? I saw you run out of the ball real distressed.**

 

**N. Kane: Y/n, come back! The Commander can't do this to you.**

 

**N. Kane: I'd report him for this but there's no one to report him to.**

 

**N: Kane: Y/n?**

 

The messages of concern came flooding in as you dashed to your bosses personal quarters, trying your best not to stumble with how buzzed you were. During your walk your fear and anxiety turned to anger. Noah was right, he had no reason to be treating you like this. Had you sobered up a little bit before running with your tail between your legs, you would have realized that there was nothing he could do to hurt you physically. He could fire you and that was it. Well, he could kill you too, but you thought that was unlikely considering the fact that he had shown sexual interest in you. If it got that bad he'd probably just lock you up and make him your slave, just like that other girl.

 

You had finally made it to his quarters, angry and flustered. You knocked on his door angrily and tapped your foot as you waited for him to answer. When he did, he did so with the Force. You walked in, arms crossed over your chest and a hard, angry scowl on your face. He was pacing the floor in his living room, head down and arms crossed behind his back. He looked up at you, he was just as angry as you were.

 

“What's this about Commander? Why did you summon me here without pay?” You had to restrain yourself to keep from yelling. “First you message me over and over again like an overprotective boyfriend and now you call me to your quarters at nearly 9 at night? What do you want?”

“I told you not to get drunk y/n. I didn't want you drunk and you drank anyway!”

“You messaged me that _after_ I started drinking!”

“It didn't matter, you should know that as a member of the First Order you are not to present yourself as a drunk. It makes everyone look bad including me!”

“So that's what this is all about? You called me here to tell me not to drink?” Now, you were angrily walking in circles in his living room, fists clenched together and pressed hard into your thighs. “No! You were misconducting yourself at a First Order event. You work for me and I don't need you making me look bad.”

“Again, this is about me being drunk. Wow.”

“From now on you're no longer allowed to attend recreational events. I'll be sure your key card won't let you into any of the recreational rooms either. You may sit in the library and read books for fun for now on.” You opened your mouth to speak, but he quickly cut you off. “And that boy you were with. Forget about it. He's never going to set foot on Star Killer ever again. Having workplace relationships is banned, you know that y/n.”

As your face softened in realization about what this confrontation was really about, you noticed Kylo's face becoming red with embarrassment. He had let it slip, he just didn't want you hanging out with Noah. “This is about Noah? This is really about me and Noah. Wow Commander.” You rolled your eyes, Kylo rubbed his hand down his face. “No it's not.”

“Yes it is.”

“No, it's not!”

“If having workplace relationships is banned then why did you kiss me and why did you send me pictures of your dick?” Kylo took in a deep breath, ran his fingers through his dark beautiful hair. From the way he had his teeth bared you could tell he was getting angrier and angrier. You were smart, you had figured out why he wanted you here so bad.

“You're jealous.”

“That's not true.”

“You don't want me around Noah. You're jealous!” This was gold, first class entertainment. Kylo Ren, the big bad jedi killer had a crush on you and was jealous of Noah. That was probably why he was in your dorm block, and why Noah was stationed on the Finalizer. “No, y/n. I was trying to keep you from losing your job over that boy. I was-”

“Why are you so fucking jealous when you told me what happened between us a was a mistake Commander? Quit sending me all these mixed signals!” That last part was mostly a joke. Mostly. You didn't care that Kylo wanted you, lots of guys wanted you. You didn't care that you wanted Kylo either, you were just prepared to settle with Noah after you were told sexting was a mistake. What you did care about though, was Kylo not being able to make up his mind on if he wanted you or not. He could have you, he really could. Or he could not and you could hang with Noah, but it was out of your hands and up to Kylo.

Kylo, however, did not take that last part as a joke. He took it seriously, solidifying his mixed signals about how he felt about you.

You thought you were a goner when he started stomping his way across his living room to you. He held his hands out, reaching for your neck. You could have sworn it was going to be the last thing you saw. But it wasn't.

His hands found themselves around the sides of your neck. He gently pulled your head toward his, bringing his lips down and resting them against yours. At first you jumped back, afraid he was going to strangle you or something like that. When you were sure he was not going to hurt you, you relaxed just a little, letting him kiss you with no resistance. Then you wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tight as you began to move your lips with his. It was like the day of the meeting all over again, though this time you were more prepared for it.

You moaned against his lips as he sucked your lower lip into his mouth, biting down on it and then running his tongue over it. You tried to reciprocate the action, but before you could his hands found their way to your hips. Simultaneously he pulled you against him and pushed you back, slowly walking you toward the couch. Your bodies moved in sync, one step and then another until your calves hit the seat of the couch. Kylo pulled away from you, in response you let out of a frustrated groan and moved your head in for more, but Kylo kept you away. Instead, he lifted you up by your ass, promting you to giggle and wrap your legs around his waist. He did a 180 and sat squarely on the couch, you straddled his lap, took his face in your hands and viciously attacked his lower lip just as he did yours. In a way, you were voicing your anger when he stopped you the first time.

Your hands went to his hair, his hands went to your ass as he groped his way around. You were growing wetter and wetter as you felt his warm hands lift your dress up around your waist, tugging at your undies in a silent plea to remove them. Underneath you, his cock was growing harder and harder, you could feel it straining against his pants trying desperately to reach your aching cunt.

“I want your cheeks, your neck...” Kylo said, his voice thick with lust. He began kissing your cheek, down to your neck. Once he met the nape of your neck he took a chunk of your skin in between his teeth and bit down. You yelped in response to the love bite, it was more painful than you expected but it still aroused you even more. You didn't have to look at a mirror to know that you were marked for good.

Kylo continued to kiss your neck, stopping every now and again to suck bruises into your tender skin, eliciting moans upon moans from you. Not only was he a great kisser, but he was a master of foreplay. You were sure that, at this point, you could take every single inch of his with no resistance. The thought excited you more than it probably should have, especially considering the fact that you had ran away from Noah to come here.

But who cared about Noah? Not you when you had the Commander of the First Order sucking on your neck like a damned god.

You moved your head back, giving him access to the front of your throat. He knew what to do from there. The most sensitive spot on your body, the space between your two collar bones, was not ignored. He ran his tongue along your collar bone, flicking the end and then kissed the area in between. You let out a huge groan and tightened your grip on his hair. In response he groaned, under his breath he murmured “harder.” A pant from him, something you'd never thought you'd hear from Kylo. He sounded powerless, handing the key to his pleasure over to you with no second thoughts or guesses. He wanted you to pull his hair again, and harder.

So you did, and you weren't disappointed with his response.

He latched onto your sensitive spot, sucked it with all that he had. It felt so good that you threw your entire body back, luckily Kylo wasn't as far gone as you were and was able to catch you. You were so horny that you were sure the panties you had chosen were next to ruined, you even thought you could feel Kylo's lap growing wet because of you. It was all a lot to take in, the noises, the bruises, the tuft of damp dark hair in your hand, and the hands currently running up and down your back. This night was not supposed to end with you grinding on the couch with your boss. But it did anyway, and where it would go next would be legendary.

“Do-wanna take this to the bedroom?” Kylo asked you. You didn't even have to answer, the look you gave him was enough. In one fluid motion he stood you up and he stood from the couch. Grasping your hand firmly, he led you to his bedroom where he quickly and desperately started to undo your dress.

The lack of words between the two of you was one part disturbing and two parts arousing. You expected a man like Kylo to be vocal, to be calling you a whore and outlining what he was going to do to you or what you were going to do for him.

But no, he stood you in front of his mirror, continuing his assault on your neck as he undid the bow on the back of your dress. He stood silent, the room was only filled with your soft moans and the subtle wet suckling noises of him sucking on your neck. There was also the noise of the zipper, and once it had ended you watched yourself in the mirror as your dress fell from your shoulders and pooled around your bare feet.

There you stood, in front of your boss, Commander Kylo Ren, notorious Jedi Killer, in nothing but your bra and panties. The man who strikes fear in the hearts of many, but was only striking pleasure in yours. Your hair was a mess, your bun was now loose and lopsided, sweaty and damp from all of the action you were getting earlier on the couch. Your neck was a canvas for brown and red splotches of all shapes and sizes, what amused you the most was the hickey between your collar bones was almost heart shaped. Had he left some bruises on the sides of it it would have looked like you had a necklace on.

Kylo was even more appealing to the eye than you were. He was shirtless, having rid himself of the garment before you even made it to the bedroom. His hair was somehow still beautiful, luscious, and perfect. His chest was well defined and you could see his muscles moving inch by inch as he moved his arms to unhook your bra. His eyes met yours in the mirror, his gorgeous brown eyes with strands of gold bursting from his pupil. He looked at you as if to ask if you really wanted to do this with him. Your only response was to smile at the ground and help him wiggle you out of your bra.

 

There you were, submissively laying on your back in Kylo Ren's bed. You were completely nude, legs spread wide open, welcoming Kylo into you as if he were a gift from the gods. You had your fingers laced in his hair, pulling on it whenever a wave of pleasure raced through you just like he liked it. Kylo was bare as well, you had stripped him once you were standing naked in his bedroom. The two of you were still not saying anything as he glided in and out of you slowly and deliciously. The only sounds that played in the room at that moment were the bed moving forward and back with each of his thrusts, Kylo's grunts, skin moving on skin, and your soft moans. The moment was so surreal, never in your life did you think you'd actually be getting fucked by Kylo Ren. Not back at home, not on your first day of work, not during your sexting, not when nearly fucking Noah, not at the ball, not when he first kissed you. But alas, here you were enjoying every inch of his cock that he was graciously giving you.

“ _Oh_ Commander...!” You said, trialing off as your chest bubbled with nearly painful pleasure. You could almost feel every ridge and vein dragging on your walls. Everything felt so good in that moment, you tightened your fingers in his hair, bringing out a groan from your boss.

He mumbled something under his breath, something you didn't catch right away. “Wh-wha?”

“Kylo, you call me Kylo when we're in bed.” Another zap of pleasure soared through your body, your curled your toes and pulled on his hair. That phrase insinuated that you'd be in his bed in the future as well. “Oh!” you exclaimed, just the thought of being in this position with him again nearly sent you over the edge. “K-Kylo!” You said, you needed more, more, _more._

“More.”

“You want more?”

“More!” He picked up the pace just a bit, but it still didn't satisfy you. You were so close, nearly hanging onto your orgasm by a threat. You wanted more!

_Your arm itched_

Not now!

“ _MORE!”_

You shouted at the top of your lungs, Kylo rammed himself so far into you you actually hiccuped. You screamed, wrapped your legs so tight around his waist that you could feel the top of his hip bones. Kylo was making angry grunts now, you were both sweaty and already smelled like sex. His hands were next to your head, your hands were holding onto his hair for your life. The bed frame was smacking the wall with loud, obnoxious slapping noises. You couldn't hold out on yourself for any longer.

You arched your back as you came all over him, hard. Your toes flexed, your legs outstretched, your torso was twitching up and down. You pulled on Kylo's hair so hard you were afraid you might have torn chunks out in your disoriented state. But in the moment that didn't matter.

Evidently your own orgasm brought out Kylo's as well. He arched his back, his eyes shut hard and his lip between his teeth made one of the funniest looking O faces you had ever seen. He buried his cock as far into you as it could possibly go, resting slightly on your cervix as he spilled his seed into you. He was panting, beads of sweat fell off of his forehead and onto yours. Your hands slipped from his hair and down to his neck. He lifted his head up to look at you and you drunk in his post orgasmic look. He was so gorgeous.

He leaned down and kissed you passionately, long and soft. You had found a small knot at the base of his neck that you decided to massage out, he had worked hard and you thought he deserved it. When he broke the kiss, he looked right through you and into your soul. For a split second you thought he had figured you out, figured out your deep dark secret and was now going to kick you out of his bed. You weren't, after all, hiding your thoughts while he fucked you.

“Did I give you enough?” He asked. You smiled, resting your fingers on his neck, gently placing them above his vein and feeling his heartbeat slow down.

“I want more.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited to announce that I'm working on a secret project with someone. Keep your eyes open because it's going to be epic.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How would you guys feel if I put my work on Wattpad? I have an account there I just never use it. The person that I'm cooperatively writing The Devil Inside with is posting the fic there and I thought it may be a good idea to use both.

Kylo rolled off of you and collapsed on his back, as he did you sat up and propped yourself up on your elbows. “I'm sorry that I didn't last very long.” He broke the silence between the two of you. You looked over at him sympathetically, your time with him was on the shorter side but you didn't mind, both of you had gotten off so you were satisfied. You shrugged at him, then looked down at your chest. Just like your neck Kylo had decorated your boobs with love bites and hickies, he wasn't joking around when he told you that your breasts looked so kissable. Nearly the entire time you were in his bed some part of him was latched to your boobs; his mouth, hands, nose, chest. Kylo Ren is a boob guy.

“I assumed you were on the pill. Do you need me to get you an emergency contraceptive?” Kylo had removed the blanket from his body and tossed it between the two of you, no doubt still hot and sweaty. Your eyes immediately went to his cock, now softening against his belly button. God, it looked so much better in person. “No, I'm on the pill.” You said. You lifted yourself up a bit more, the blanket falling loosely into your lap. There was more silence as you stood from the bed, heading over to the bathroom to clean yourself up.

What you and Kylo had just shared was nothing less than amazing. You admired him so much more now, he knew exactly what he wanted and he knew exactly how to take it. He used his Force powers to peer into your mind and see what you liked, and when he finally got you in his grasp he used those thought to his advantage. The result was an awesome experience for the both of you.

You exited the bathroom to see Kylo lounging on his bed still nude all while playing on his datapad. You rolled your eyes, the one thing Kylo was not good at when it came to sex was avoiding awkward situations afterword.

“I had fun.” You said, bringing his attention away from his tablet to you. You smiled at him, fidgeting with your fingers as you honestly didn't know where to go from here. “I'm happy. I've waited a long time for this night, Y/n.” That statement made you glow in happiness, you loved being pursued by people. It also made you feel good to know that Ren found just as much pleasure in your body as you did with his. You climbed into his bed on your hands and knees, crawling to him and kissing him goodbye. You ran your fingers through his hair as he brought his hand up behind your neck and held you there. You had never felt so safe before in your life.

When he finally let you go you scooted your way out of bed and over to the pile of your clothes on the floor. “What are you doing?” Kylo asked as you slipped your panties on. “Getting dressed?” You said, confused as to why he asked. “Why?”

“Because, I can't walk back to my dorm naked.” You chuckled. Kylo Ren didn't strike you as the kind of man that would want you to stick around and cuddle with him. Especially since he had said next to nothing to you the entire night. Maybe you were just a quick fuck to him, now you'd go back to your workplace relationship. It would hurt but you wouldn't mind, you had your share of one night stands in the past. Like the pilot you met a few years back, he was so good looking and so good in bed but he was such a dick, wouldn't return any of your calls or messages at all. The next time he saw you he acted like he didn't know you, wouldn't even let his droid speak to you. After that, you learned to take every frisk in bed with a grain of salt, to not catch any feelings over anyone you fucked.

As you reached for your bra Kylo stopped you. “Wait-!” He said, placing his tablet down on his bedside table. You looked at him, waiting for him to continue his sentence. Just before he did he looked away, adjusting himself back under his blanket. Why was he so shy all of the sudden? Earlier that night he was yelling at you to not drink and not be with Noah. What was so embarrassing to him that he couldn't look you in the eye and tell you?

“You may stay toni-”

You didn't even let him finish. In one quick movement your panties hit the ground again and you flew right into his bed. You scooted as close as you could to him, leaning in and giving him a kiss on his shoulder. He lifted his arm and draped it across your shoulder, rested his chin on the top of your head as you relaxed in his embrace. This was definitely not in your plan tonight, in fact none of this was, not that it mattered.

Well, yes it did. You had ditched Noah, your date for the ball. You were supposed to end up in bed with him, not your boss. You sighed and cuddled down into Kylo's bed, closed your eyes to think about the ramifications of your actions tonight as Kylo shut off the light. You'd have to tell Noah sorry, in fact you'd probably have to cut Noah off all together. From the way Kylo reacted to you tonight you knew tonight would not be the last night you spent with him. Even if he was a little on the silent and weird side.

“You know,” You started, pulling yourself under the covers. “This would have been much easier if you would have just told me what you wanted.” You turned on your side to face him, you could hardly see him with the room being so dark but you could feel the small smile on his face as he told you goodnight.

“Good night, Commander.” You said. “Kylo.” He corrected.

_Your arm itched_

 

The next morning you woke up to the sound of Kylo's alarm going off you had a headache, every muscle in your body was sore, and momentarily you forgot where you were. You had thought it was your own alarm going off, when you reached over to turn it off you were met with Kylo's muscular back. The realization of what happened the previous woke you immediately.

You couldn't say that you were surprised with yourself really. The entire thing just happened so fast and so suddenly that it was just hard to believe. You stretched your arms way above your head, a minute strand of regret ran through you. This was not why you were sent to The First Order at all.

But oh well. They'd be upset for about a minute but as long as you still got the job done who cares? It's not like you were planning on spending the rest of your time within the Order in Kylo Ren's bed. You'd get back to work as soon as you could today.

“Good morning, beautiful.” Kylo said, his voice was filtered with exhaustion and sexuality. You had flashbacks of him, his naked body, how he sat on top of you and kissed you all over your body, the feel of his cock, his breath on your ear, his moans and groans, he was a god. You turned over and smiled at him, any regret you had before hand melted away as you gazed lovingly into his attentive eyes. It was like he cast a spell over you, a spell that made you forget about Noah and what your real motives were.

“Morning Kylo.” You said, placing you hands on his pecs and outlining them. _So muscular._ You thought to yourself. “Did you sleep alright?”

“Yeah. But I didn't listen to you and got a bit of a hangover.” Kylo chuckled at you. “Do you need me to go get you some aspirin?”

“No, I think I'll be okay.” You said, cuddling into him. He draped his arm over you and held you close. You were so comfortable against him that you nearly fell asleep again. The rise and fall of his chest coupled with the smooth sound of his breaths were putting you to sleep. Of course, you wouldn't mind sleeping in bed with Kylo for a little bit longer.

You wiggled out of his grasp and rolled onto his chest, wrapping your arms around his neck and tucking your head under his chin. You were making yourself way too comfy here, not a good idea. You just really loved the contact, the warm body beneath yours. It was a feeling you did not often feel, Kylo really did make you feel loved even though you were _sure_ he did not love you. He probably wouldn't either, just like you wouldn't love him.

“I had fun last night.” You smiled against his neck as his hand ran down your back, over the curve of your butt, and back. “So did I.” You replied. Just then, you got an idea. A wonderful idea that had made you wet sitting right there on his chest. You could feel Kylo's morning wood against your leg, hot and big just as usual. You were in the mood for another round, but not exactly for more fucking.

“Do you have to get ready for work now?” You asked, you didn't want to hold him up with what you wanted to do, but you were dying to get his cock in your mouth. “I probably should, but I would rather sit here with you.” You sat up, straddling his stomach. His hands went to your hips and his eyes went right to yours. “Me too.” You said just before leaning down and kissing him on the lips. You flattened yourself against him again and started to slink your way down his body, stopping with your face right in front of his cock. He looked at you with lust in his eyes, and as you took him in your hand his mouth fell open. “You sure you should be getting ready for work?” You asked him. You refused to break eye contact with him as you began to jerk him off, daring him to say no to you and your mouth.

Kylo sat up to get a better look at you, just as he did you licked your way from the base of his cock to the tip, jerking him off again to get his precum flowing. He huffed, looked over at his tablet and then back at you. You smiled, licked him again, this time lapping up the small beat of precum that had surfaced from his head. He tasted so good, you were looking up at him and begging for more. Just as you were about to lick him again his hand came down, grasping you by your hair and forcefully pulling you up and then back down on his member.

You gagged, having had his cock forced all the way down your throat way too fast. But the uncomfortable feeling was worth the loud sigh that came from his mouth and the image of him reclined in bed with his hands behind his head. His eyes were shut as you bobbed your head up and down, running your tongue along the sensitive head of his cock. You smiled as he twitched in your mouth, at the same time he groaned loudly. You swirled your tongue around his head, taking even more of his salty precum on your tongue and loving every drop.

Evidently, so was Kylo. He reached down and pushed your head down on his cock once again. He held you there as you gagged around him and eventually you moaned. Kylo's entire body twitched, his fingers tightened in your hair as he released a breathless moan. You knew he was close, you wanted to see his O face again. You pushed your head against his hand and removed yourself from him. Instead, you hovered above his cock, jerking him faster and faster, your mouth was wide open and ready to receive his load.

Just like the previous night his eyes shut. His mouth fell open and he gripped both your hair and the bed sheet. He bucked his hips as he came, forcing his cock into your mouth and bumping your palate. Hot, sticky, white strands of cum flew into your mouth, landing on your tongue, upper set of teeth and the roof of your mouth. You were shining inside, you prided yourself on your lewd skill set and thought you performed it on Kylo flawlessly.

As he came down from his orgasm you took it upon yourself to crawl back up and over him. Both of your arms were on the sides of his head and your knees were on the sides of his rib cage. You gazed at his face, flushed pink and sweating slightly. He brought his thumb up over your chin and pulled on it, asking you if you had swallowed everything. Enthusiastically, you nodded your head and opened your mouth to show him. Kylo tilted your head left and right as if to inspect your mouth fir any single drop of his seed. “Good girl.” He said, satisfied. He sat up, moving you to straddle his lap once again. You two pressed your foreheads together, Kylo ran his hands up and down your bare thighs. “I should really get ready for work now.”

You watched from his bed as Kylo pulled on his undergarments and his robes, did his hair in the mirror and shined his helmet. In that moment it had dawned on you that you were still completely naked, not ready to go anywhere any time soon. “Don't worry about it. Take the day off.” You looked at Kylo like you couldn't believe what he had said. One of the first things you learned about before accepting the job in the Order was that days off-even sick days were incredibly rare. The First Order had a war to win, had expensive planets to take over. Just because you had a little cold or were really tired didn't mean anything.

Of course, the rules said nothing about if you were Kylo Ren's fuck buddy. In fact, if you had to guess you were now a special exception to a lot of rules given your new status. You didn't question it, just sat back and relaxed in Kylo's bed.

Before Kylo started to get dressed he floated your tablet to you from the living room. Just as you had suspected it was dead, wouldn't turn on or anything. Messaging an apology to Noah would have to wait.

Kylo threw you one of his shirts and handed you a charger for your tablet before he left for work. “Door's unlocked. Leave whenever you feel like it.” He said as he turned the tv on and handed you the remote. “Have a good day baby.” He said, placing a goodbye kiss on your head. As he left you couldn't help but to smile brightly at the back of his head. Your heart had swelled in your chest and the butterflies had awakened in your tummy again. Kylo Ren called you his baby. You collapsed with giddy into his bed. Last night and this day were absolutely perfect.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so everyone knows, I write with one hand. The other is usually occupied with holding a sleeping baby, keeping a paci in his mouth, or just holding him still lol.


	8. Chapter 8

 

You plugged your tablet into the cable Kylo gave you and decided to go back to sleep. You had been working for him for months, every day you woke up at 6 to start getting ready and worked till 7, you felt like you deserved to sleep in. When you woke a few hours later you turned on your side to retrive your tablet and text Noah an apology about the previous night. The guilt was weighing heavily on you.

When you held down the power button you found your tablet was still dead. You grimaced, pulled the cable out from the floor and found that, while Kylo handed you the cable, you forgot to actually plug it into the wall. So you had you tablet plugged in for about three hours, but it was getting no charge. Your face fell flat, you wiped your tired eyes as you thought to yourself “ _fucking idiot.”_ You got up to fix the plug and plugged your datapad in, content with the First Order logo that lit up with the text “Hello YF/n YL/n!” under it. Now all you would have to do is let it charge for thirty minutes and you'd be good to message Noah.

You used the bathroom, finger combed your hair and threw it in a pony tail (sleeping with a donut bun is really bad, you learned that day), and decided to trek through Kylo Ren's kitchen for something for breakfast. Your parents had taught you to always ask first before eating someone else's food, but you had literally sucked the mans cock four hours ago. The very _least_ he could do for you was let you eat some of his food. Besides, he was the commander of the First Order, if he wanted to replace the food you ate he'd have no problem doing so.

You were sorely disappointed when you opened his fridge, the contents were much more sad than what you had on your first day. Kylo Ren, most exhalted man in the Order, the man that every employee from Lieutenant to sanitation worker had to bow down to whenever they saw him, had only two apples and a bottle of water in his fridge. You face palmed harder than you did when you found your tablet unplugged.

Nevertheless, you took one of the apples and cut it into slices. You rummaged through his kitchen to see if he had any peanut butter or caramel, but his drawers and cupboards were all empty. So you settled down on the couch, turned on the TV, and ate your sad excuse for breakfast as you waited for your tablet to charge.

Once you were finished you found yourself laying on your stomach typing your apology text to Noah:

 

**You: Hey man, I'm sorry about last night. I was really scared and couldn't afford to lose my job. Kylo just talked to me really sternly, he didn't force me to do anything I didn't want him to do. I still want to see you again though, did you want to go out for some covfefe?**

 

You sent that message and immediately switched to Kylo's conversation. Right as Noah's went away, you realized your mistake. Damn your fingers that seemed to always type too fast! You quickly went back to correct your mistake

 

**You: *Coffee**

 

You went back to texting the Commander, but before you could send your message a message from Noah came in

 

**Error, Datacode not in use**

 

**Error, Datacode not in use**

 

One error for each message you had sent. You were puzzled, scrolled back up through that message folder to make sure that it was, indeed, Noah. Which it was, so why was there all of the sudden a datacode error? You wondered for a second then realized there was no use, you had no way of contacting him. You'd have to just find someone to ask in person what happened to his datacode. So you went back to asking the Commander what was up with his food shortage.

 

**You: I'm hungry.**

 

**K. Ren: You're still in my quarters?**

 

**You: Yeah, I ate your apple and drank your one bottle of water. But I need more please.**

 

It was in that instance you didn't really know what you were asking the Commander to do for you, it wasn't as if you couldn't go out and get food for yourself. Maybe you just wanted to talk to him, maybe you missed him. Maybe you wanted to make fun of him for not having any food. You really didn't know, but you wanted to fill your stomach-that was certain.

 

**K. Ren: What do you want?**

 

You thought your boss was just joking with you, thought that he had asked you that question full of sarcasm. You grinned, thinking you could be just as sarcastic.

 

**You: I want an entire breakfast buffet filled with every single type of egg, bacon, and pancakes. I want crepes filled with strawberries and bananas and chocolate, apples and cinnamon, and eggs and sausage. I want Belgian waffles topped with whipped cream and butter, strawberries, and blue berries. I want maple oatmeal and buttered grits. I want coffee and apple juice, and I want a slice of marble cake.**

 

You sent your reply, laughing at how ridiculous it sounded. Maybe Kylo would just send you a plate of pancakes, who knew. Either way, he was going to have to get you food soon or else you'd have to find some yourself.

Half an hour in, you had almost completed a board of minesweeper on your tablet when suddenly and loudly Kylo's door flew open. You finger slipped and you accidentally pressed on a mine that you knew was in that spot. Angrily, you turned around, ready to playfully yell at Kylo for ruining your game, but you were met with something much different.

Strolling backwards into the room was a chef pulling an actual table-a five foot long table- filled with lots of colorful foods. It was literally everything you had asked him for and in the order you had asked him for it. There was the eggs, cooked in every way possible. Then there was bacon and turkey bacon. Then there was three different types of pancakes, whole grain, butter milk, and some crazy concoction of bananas and flour and whatever else. There was a plate with three types of crepes on it, then there was a huge plate of Belgian waffles, half was topped with strawberries and half was topped with blue berries. There was a bowl of oatmeal with maple syrup drizzled over the top, a bowl of buttered grits, then a pot of coffee and a huge jug of apple juice. And at the very end? A slice of marble cake.

As it was wheeled out in front of you your jaw stayed on the ground. “Is, is all this for me?” You pointed to your chest as you asked the chefs. “Sure is Ma'm. Anything else we can do for you?” He asked you, but you couldn't look at him. The only thing you could do was stare at that thick Belgian waffle, it was calling your name. You quickly shook your head and moved directly to the pot of coffee, grabbing a cup that was sitting next to it and filling it with both coffee and cream and sugar. The chefs left you, leaving you to your giant breakfast bar in peace.

Just as you were making yourself a plate you got a message from the Commander.

 

**K. Ren: Is the food to your liking?**

 

**You: Yes!!!**

 

**K. Ren: Good. Hold off for as long as you can. I am coming to dine with you.**

 

You begrudgingly put the plate with the food down where you found it originally and waited for the Commander to show it.

Roughly 15 mintues later Kylo entered the room, helmeted head held high and mighty. You jumped up, scrambling to greet him at the door. You couldn't contain your excitement as you wrapped your arms tightly around his torso, thanking him over and over as if you were a child who had been granted their only wish for Christmas. He said nothing, just removed his helmet and kissed you on the top of your head.

You two ate in his bedroom, watching TV and conversing with each other. The waffles were your favorite, you ate all of them without letting Kylo have so much as a wiff of their deliciousness. You had tried a little bit of everything but quickly found yourself getting full. Kylo ate nearly everything you didn't, the man seemed to be a bottomless pit when it came to all of that food. Then again, he really was big. Height, hands, feed, dick, it would only make sense that his stomach followed suit.

For a split second you thought about asking Kylo what had happened to Noah. You were dying to know and dying to apologize to him. You even wanted to tell him you had found someone else to mess around with, no use playing with the poor boys feelings when all you wanted to do was be with Kylo.

But you thought better of it, you knew Kylo had been jealous of Noah and didn't want you anywhere near him and probably didn't want you talking to or about him either. So you just took another bite of your crepe, sucking the strawberry out and chewing it.

“That was so good Kylo thank you! But what will we do with all this extra food?” Even though you and Kylo had cleared a lot of the plates there was still food left, food that wouldn't taste too good sitting in the fridge and heated up later. “I'll send it to the cafeteria, no reason to waste it. The Storm Troopers will eat it right away.” Kylo said to you as he took your plate and set it on his bedside table. “I think I want desert.” He said.

“Sorry, I ate the only piece of marble cake.” You smiled at him, then leaned back and assessed your swollen belly. Damn, you could barely even more you were so full. So when Kylo started to roll on top of you, planting his hands firmly on the sides of your neck, you protested loudly with a groan. He kissed you, starting at your cheek and down to your neck. Did he really want to have sex now? You were full, he'd be able to hear all of that food and liquid rolling around in your stomach. How unsexy would that be?

“Mmm. You smell so good.” Kylo said, inhaling loudly in the crook of your neck. You drew your head into your neck as his breath and nose tickled you, a small smile grew across your face. “Do you taste as good as you smell?” It took you a second to realize what he was getting at, and when you did you gasped in absolute horror.

There was only one guy that had ever done such a thing to you. It was when you were exploring your sexual interests-you vowed that you would try everything at least once. So when you asked your boyfriend at the time to go down on you that day and he hesitated, you worried. It took a lot of convincing, a lot of time before your boyfriend said yes, and when he did you made sure to tell him that he could back out if he wanted to.

So you sat at the edge of the bed, made sure that he was still willing to do this to you, and when he said yes you leaned back, closed your eyes, and waited for his tongue to enter you in long awaited appreciation.

You did get that feeling, however right afterword what he did had you in tears.

“Oh my fucking god. This is disgusting!” He fell back, gagging and acting like he was going to vomit on your bedroom floor. You were mortified. You had done everything you thought was right: showered, cleaned yourself really well, ate well too! From that night on you thought you were just disgusting, you hated yourself. You wanted nothing to do with anyone, including your boyfriend (who, mind you, was still willing to fuck you whenever you wanted to).

Until one day he called you and said he was just over reacting, it didn't taste that bad and that he had basically lied to you. When you angrily and hurtfully asked him why he couldn't give you an answer. He wouldn't even apologize for making you feel so shitty and insecure, you broke up with him the same day.

So now, as your new lover was crouching down at the edge of the bed and pulling you closer to him, you panicked. “No, Kylo, it's alright. You don't have to.” You pulled your ankle out of his grasp and closed your legs. “Why not?” You didn't want to tell him about your embarrassing experience, so you just made up some bullshit excuse about your stomach hurting. Kylo looked at you like he didn't believe you at all. “What's wrong y/n? You're not usually this shy.” You sat quiet for a second, thinking hard about another excuse but could think of one in time because you forgot to block out your thoughts.

“You've never had this done to you before. Not by some one who knew what they were doing at least.” Kylo took a hold of your ankle and started to pull you back to him. “He doesn't know what he's missed out on, baby. You don't know what you're missing out on either.” You realized that your boss was much more mature than that boy you were dating, that he genuinely wanted to taste you. “You'll like it, I promise.” The more he talked to you the more your trust in him grew. “And besides, I enjoy doing this.”

Moments later you found yourself screaming-literally screaming Kylo's name in complete ecstasy. At first your hands were balled in his bedsheets, knuckles white as the pleasure built in your loins. You knew it was going to feel good, but not this good. Kylo knew exactly what to do with every piece of you; what to suck, kiss, lick, and even bite. He would wrap his lips around your clit and suck, then he'd piston his tongue in and out of your hole. His fingers did not go unused, sometimes they'd be stroking your clit, sometimes they'd be curled up inside of you.

Whenever Kylo thought you were getting too close to finishing he'd bring all attention away from your clit and start sucking on your lips or simply licking you wherever he wanted. Each time you'd groan and moan, complaining and internally cursing him for edging you on so cruelly. You could feel him smirking and giggling against you as you sat frustrated. Then you got an idea.

You quickly moved your hand to his hair, you knew you'd get exactly what you wanted if you appeased him too. You laced your fingers in his raven locs of hair and pulled. He rewarded you with a moan and grazed his teeth over your clit, making you jump. “Please Kylo, please please please! I need it. I need it so bad!”

_Maybe if you work hard enough you'll get your reward._

Ren's words flew right through your mind as if he was speaking clear as day. You looked down at him, his eyes were on yours as he slithered his tongue into your hole and kept it there. He wanted to play games, so you would give him a game.

Your other hand flew to his head next to the other one and you draped your legs over his shoulders. As you did he moved his attention back to your clit, flicking his tongue back and forth wildly. You moaned, yelled out his name as you pulled harshly on his hair with both hands. He moaned in response, moving his tongue even faster. You got tunnel vision, so close to finding your release you could hardly focus on anything else. So you shouted Kylo's name and begged him, telling him about how close to you and curling your fingers into his scalp. He gave you exactly what you wanted in that moment.

He some how pulled the hood of your clit back-by the time he did that you were so far gone. At the first swipe of his tongue over your now swollen and abused bead you came undone, releasing yourself and your juices all over your own bosses face. Your back arched as you pushed his face into your cunt, simultaneously pushing yourself against his face. You desperately milked as much of your own pleasure for as long as you could.

Once your had finished riding out your orgasm you looked down at Kylo. He was looking doe eyed and red faced at you, not moving, not blinking, not doing anything. You lifted your head up first, then your torso. Your cum leaked out of you and all over his bed sheets. You shyly looked back up at him, apologizing about the mess you had made. He still wasn't moving, wasn't looking at anything other than you.

“Kylo? What's wrong?”

_Your arm itched_

Kylo stood up slowly, face turning redder and redder as he started to twitch and breathe heavily. As he straightened his back up you realized what had happened and you started to smile at his embarrassment.

“I need to go change my undergarments.”

 

Once you had gotten yourself cleaned up you turned your attention to your tablet, reading about the daily First Order news to see if anything interesting had finally come up. Kylo was standing next to the bed changing his boxers that he came in (you'd be laughing at that for the rest of your life) and not paying any attention to you. You had decided that after he left you'd leave too, you wanted to spend some alone time back at your own dorm and you wanted to hut someone down to figure out what happened to Noah. As much as you loved hanging out in Kylo's quarters you knew he most likely did not want you around forever.

Kylo had said something to you, but you were busy reading an article about coding and didn't quite catch what he said. You asked him to repeat himself without looking up at him. “I said how good is your vision?” You furrowed your brow, not understanding the question until you looked up and saw him fiddling with your dopey glasses.

If you could, you'd be flailing your arms around windmill style running up to him and snatching them out of his hands like a cartoon. Kylo _did not_ need to be inspecting your glasses that closely. You had made the mistake of leaving them on his bedside table and not wearing them all day, that's probably why he asked.

Instead, you had to play it off like you weren't panicking about him finding your secret. “My vision is pretty good. I only wear those when I need them.” _Smooth y/n. Real smooth._

He looked over at you, then set them back down on the table. “Well, I'll be heading back into work. You're free to stay for as long as you'd like.” Just like this morning he bent down and kissed you, leaving a warm wet spot on your forehead. You bid him goodbye, then went to dress. You didn't want to be here too long without him, you were getting used to him and starting to miss him when he was gone.

Would you break this relationship with your boss? As much as you didn't want to, you knew you'd have to. You knew they'd come looking for you eventually.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just joined a FB group dedicated to writers of AO3. All I ever see is Harry Potter (a series I was never allowed to read), never Star Wars :(


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a small chapter because next week I'll be super busy. Last week of class heeeeeyyyyy.

You cleaned yourself up and saw yourself out of your bosses quarters. Even though you had cleaned up really well, using Kylo's stuff to brush your hair, brush your teeth, and wash up, you still felt like you were taking the walk of shame back to your dorm. By now it was close to 4, Kylo never told you to return to work, in fact he told you to stay if you wanted to. But you thought you needed some time alone to process and understand what you were now getting yourself into.

Before you returned home you stopped by General Hux's office to ask about Noah. He was in his office (as it always seemed he was, Kylo commented on it often and about how it got on his nerves) and smiled at you when you entered. “Hi there y/n. What can I do for you this late in the day?”

“Oh, nothing too much General. I was just wondering if you knew what happened to Noah Kane?”

“Ah, good old Noah. I'm not sure, why? Is he gone?” You shook your head at his question and voiced your concern, telling him you had gone to the dance the previous night and wanted to make sure he got to the Finalizer safely. “Hmm. That's strange. Let me check his files here. We at the First Order keep note of every employee that has ever worked for the Order, dead or alive.”

_Your arm itched._

Hux clicked his mouse and looked through his computer, rubbing his upper lip and looking puzzled. “Kane, Noah Kane. Here he is.” He squinted his eyes and opened his mouth, you could see the scrolling words reflected in his bright blue eyes. Once it seemed as if he found what he was looking for he made a surprised grunt, drawing your attention to him. “Says here Noah was medically discharged this morning.”

Your eyebrows shot up and your jaw hung slightly open at the revelation. “Huh?”

“He was running away from something-or someone- and fell off the top floor of the library on the Finalizer. Both of his arms were broken.”

“Oh my god!” You shrieked, poor Noah! You almost wanted to cry, wondering why he didn't message you or anything when he was hurt-not that you could do much but it's the kind of thing you'd want to know! You and Noah were still friends after all. “And, and he was discharged? He went back home?”

“Seems like it.” Your whole body quivered, all the time you had spent with Noah and you never got a chance to ask him where he lived, you'd never see him ever again! You felt the water works coming on, for some reason you felt like this was all your fault. Maybe if you would have let Noah come to your dorm instead he wouldn't have gotten hurt. Maybe if you would have just ignored Kylos messages like Noah told you to you could have saved Noah and his job. This was _literally_ your fault.

“Hey, hey! Y/n, are you alright?” Hux asked, getting up and reaching out to you. He touched your shoulder, running his hand down it and stopping awkwardly at your hand. You looked up at him and fake smiled, a tear sliding down your cheek. “I'm just, just...I'm really worried about him. I feel so bad that he fell! Do you know what he was running away from?” Hux took a step back, admiring you for just a second as he went back to his computer. “No, it just says he was running away.” You composed yourself, lifted a brow at what he said. It was so strange that the description was so vague, from what you seen come through Kylo's inbox you knew the members of the Order were very detailed. They made sure every I was dotted and every T was crossed.

Wait, Kylo's inbox! Maybe something about Noah's accident went through Kylo's messages and you could find out from there!

“Do you happen to see his address in there? I want to write him a letter. I never got his address before he got discharged.” The corner of Hux's lips quirked up for a second. “I can do that for you, y/n.” He turned his attention back to the computer and started scrolling through Noah's file again. However, his face quickly dropped to a frown. “Oh. Maybe I can't.” You tilted your head to the side, questioning the man. “His address was erased three hours ago.”

“I thought everyone's personal info was saved?” You were outraged. It was as if someone hurt him and then just threw him away, like he never meant anything to the Order. “Well, whoever discharged kept everything except for his address. I suppose it wouldn't be too difficult to find him later in life with just this information here. I'm sorry, y/n.” You hung your head solemnly, what a sad day. “It's alright, I just never got to say goodbye.” You wiped a tear that hung in the corner of your eye, thanked him and began walking out of his office. “Well, if I hear anything I'll certainly let you know.” Hux called out to you as you were shutting the door.

When you got back to your dorm you went through each and every one of Kylo's messages to see if you could find anything about Noah; Any reports of storm troopers chasing him, any accident reports, any surveillance footage, but you found nothing. You were puzzled, any and all discharges always had to go through Kylo first, it was strange that he had gotten no word about him. Just as you opened his last message Kylo himself messaged you.

 

**K. Ren: Why were you in Hux's office? I thought I told you to take the day off.**

 

You looked accusingly at your datapad, you hadn't told him your plans to interrogate Hux on your friends whereabouts.

 

**You: How did you know I went to see Hux?**

 

**K. Ren: Your datapad has a tracker in it. I was only making sure you made it back to your rooms safely and saw you made a stop there. So what were you doing?**

 

So Kylo Ren has been watching your every move the entire time you've been on the base. Great.

 

**You: No reason.**

 

You were upset with him, upset that he had pulled you away from Noah that night and upset that he was watching you and probably had been watching you for a while. Granted, you knew that the First Ordered issued Datapads probably had to have tracking equipment in them for safety purposes, but that was only for safety purposes. Not following your lover around wherever they went. I mean, why did it even matter if you went to Hux's office? Why did Kylo want to know? The thoughts and questions just made you even angrier.

 

**K. Ren: There's a reason, do not lie to me.**

 

**You: It's not important Kylo, okay? I just wanted to know what happened to my friend.**

 

**K. Ren: Who?**

 

 _Fuck!_ What is this? A police interrogation?

 

**You: Noah.**

 

**K. Ren: He was dismissed from the First Order.**

 

**You: I know that.**

 

**K. Ren: Good. Now you have no reason to go back to Hux's office. I don't want to see you there again.**

 

You rolled your eyes, Kylo was acting like he was your boyfriend again, telling you where you could and could not go. You were already so upset about losing Noah, you really didn't need Kylo acting like this again toward you. You decided not to reply, putting the tablet down on your table and sitting down on the couch and flipping through the channels till you found something suitable to watch on the TV. Wondering about Noah and being upset toward Kylo would have to end now, you wanted to enjoy and evening by yourself.

 

Closer to midnight, after you were in bed you got a message from Kylo asking you if you wanted to come back to his quarters right now. The only thing you could think was: booty call.

 

**You: No thanks. I'm still upset about Noah.**

 

**K. Ren: This has nothing to do with Noah.**

 

**You: Of course it doesn't, but my friend just disappeared and I have no idea where he went or what happened to him.**

 

**K. Ren: I've already told you what happened to him.**

 

You were just starting to feel a bit better about the entire situation, freshly showered and snuggled up in bed with a book. But no, Kylo just had to be bitter over the fact that you would rather mourn the loss of your friend than have sex with him.

 

**You: But its so suspicious. No one knows what actually happened, what hurt him, or where he went. It's frustrating. And I didn't get to say goodbye.**

 

**K. Ren: None of that matters. Not to me and not to the First Order. As a devoted member of the First Order it doesn't matter to you either. You need to get over it.**

 

You threw your tablet onto the floor, in your head yelling 'fuck you' at Kylo. You were tempted to message him and ask if he ever had any friends that he lost, any loved ones or any pets. He must have experienced some kind of emotional loss at some point. Simply telling someone who is grieving to 'get over it' is offensive and inconsiderate.

You had just decided to go to bed, tons of emotions swirling around in your head. Anger, uncertainty, sadness, grief. Staying up to talk to your boss was not helping your situation at all. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to drift off. Just as you had fallen into a light sleep you jumped at a realization.

Kylo was omitting information from you.

He was acting jealous and irritated that you were thinking about another man. He wasn't telling you the full story and he knew more than he was letting on. You hurriedly removed yourself from bed, kicking your sheets to the floor and dove for your tablet. You had to know, maybe if he knew that you knew he'd be nice and tell you. But then again, maybe not. The only thing you could do was ask.

 

**You: Did you hurt Noah??**

 

You set the tablet down in front of you, leaving the conversation with you and Kylo open the entire time. You were rocking back and forth in nervous anticipation for his response. If he said yes, you honestly didn't know how you would react. You were fond of Kylo, he had treated you well last night and this morning (save for his jealousy over a woman that was not his). If he had injured Noah it would change your view on him forever. If he was capable of hurting someone just to keep them away from you, then there was a whole lot of people he could hurt. It even made you afraid of doing this job, would it even be worth it if you knew Kylo could follow you back home and kill your loved ones?

Mid thought, you datapad blinked and you watched as Kylo's chat bubble appeared on the screen with his reply:

 

**K. Ren: Come to my quarters. I'll tell you everything you want to know.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to take a few days off. I had my final this week and another test, as well as I just wanted to spend some time with my family.


	10. Chapter 10

You had debated long and hard about if you wanted to go to your bosses quarters to find out about what happened to Noah, mostly because you knew what was going to happen when you got there. It was now past midnight, and you stood pacing your room extremely conflicted on what the right thing to do would be. On one hand you could find out what happened to Noah tonight, at the cost of your body and probably your dignity. How many people had to fuck someone to find out who hurt their best friend? On the other, there was always the possibility that Kylo would give up the information later, no guarantee though.

Of course, he could be lying to you. He may be luring you there just to fuck you and then kick you out before he gives up the information on Noah-he may no nothing about what caused him to fall off the ledge of the library. After all, that's what he wanted in the first place right?

But then again, Kylo was a nice guy. He took care of you really well last night and this morning, yeah maybe he was looking for sex but he seemed genuine enough. He may tell you and then just let you go back to your dorm.

There was really no way to tell, so when you found yourself hurrying to Kylo's quarters in nothing but your sleeping shorts and tank top you came to terms with each possibility. There was a draft, the hallways of the First Order were as cold and heartless as their members were. Maybe it would have been a good idea to wear actual clothes to Kylo's quarters. You weren't thinking, and you didn't care until a storm trooper walked by you and visibly checked you out, what a pig.

You knocked on Kylo's door and didn't get an answer right away. Once again, you felt like an idiot standing in the hallways with next to nothing on. You reminded yourself that the next time you answer what is mostly a booty call from your boss, you'd put more clothes on since he apparently turned into a snail when someone knocks on his door.

You knocked one more time, then finally he answered the door. The look on his face when he did was shock, or at least as much shock as he'd let on. Kylo Ren was very emotionless, the only emotion he displayed on his face the majority of the time was anger. “What are you doing here? It's almost 1 am.” You frowned, wasn't he the one inviting you over to talk? “You told me you would tell me about what happened to my friend. So I came.” He lifted his eyebrows, then stepped aside to let you in. “I had to rush and put on clothes because I thought you were just an officer.” He huffed, then motioned to the couch for you to sit.

“Did anyone see you come to my door dressed like that?” He said as he pulled up one of the two chairs at his dining room table. You had thought it was strange that he had two chairs, he was a man that enjoyed his privacy and you didn't think anyone would willingly eat with him. “No, I don't think so.” You answered, pushing your hands under your thighs to warm up. “Good, I'd like to keep it that way.”

“So, how does this work? Do you fuck me before or after you tell me what happened to Noah?” You didn't want to make small talk with him, you wanted the information on Noah as fast as you possibly could get it. “What makes you think I want to fuck you?”

_Wow._ That shouldn't have hurt you as much as it did.

“Was that original message just to talk then?” Kylo shrugged his shoulders. “I don't know. I was feeling quite lonely. I wasn't looking to have sex with you.” Suddenly your feeling of hurt went from you to him, you couldn't imagine Kylo being lonely. He didn't want to fuck you right away, he just wanted to sit with you or share his bed with you.

“Well, whatever. Tell me about Noah.” Kylo started with a sigh, ran his fingers through his hair and looked down at the floor. You could tell he was stressed out and didn't want to be telling you anything about the disappearance of your friend.

“I am a very selfish man, y/n. I've wanted you since the day I first set my eyes on your ID photo when you were assigned as my assistant. I was never quite sure how to ask you to spend time with me, it made me anxious just talking to you about work related things. Which is why our first...nonprofessional interaction was through the messaging system. It took so much courage for me to message you that night.” You crossed your legs, goosebumps rose on your skin as you thought of Kylo being afraid to message you that fateful night. Poor guy. He must have just been used to taking what he wanted by force. He had never actually asked a woman out before.

“I knew there was something going on between you and that boy, the way you spent every break with him you could. The day I ended your break early I could feel the foreplay going on between you two, I couldn't tell it was him right away until I tracked your datapad and saw you in his dorm. I was livid. I couldn't stand hearing your thoughts about what you and he were going to do together, I wanted to be the one to do those things to you. That night only fueled my need for you more.” You shuttered, Kylo was now starting to sound like the scary stalker you almost thought of him as. He's been watching your every move for a lot longer than you thought.

“The night of the dance I wanted to say no so bad, I didn't want you to go because I _knew_ that you were going to go with him, even thought you told me you weren't. I knew that you were lying. You're just, you're just so good at hiding your thoughts that I had no reason to tell you no.” Your heart stopped beating momentarily, he was aware of your ability to keep your thoughts from him, would he question you tonight? Your secret, it had to stay safe. You had to think of an excuse and quick. “So I let you, and half way through the night regretted it. I went into your dorm block to go cancel your plans but he had beat me there, I ran into him and didn't want to look like a fool going to your door so I just went back to my quarters and monitored from afar.

“I could feel you getting drunk, and it was my excuse to message you. When you didn't reply I went to the ball and found exactly what I knew I was going to find. He was holding you, he was touching you, feeling you in places I wanted to feel you. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to have you.” Poor Noah. You could see it coming a million miles away, Kylo hurt him. Kylo hurt your friend and it was all because you wanted Noah and not him. Tears filled the back of your eyes, this was your fault.

“The next morning, the morning after you and I had relations, I ordered Noah to be permanently removed from the First Order. I knew you would try to contact him, so while you were sleeping I drained your tablet battery to ensure I'd have enough time to execute my plan. Once we were awake I purposefully handed you the cable for your tablet and forfeited the charge unit, I was relieved when you went back to sleep and forgot about it.

“The thing was, I didn't tell my men how to discharge Noah, I didn't want him to be hurt. I didn't even know what happened to him until that evening when you started asking about him. I specifically asked them not to report his discharge to anyone, including myself because you had access to my messages. I also didn't want you contacting him, so I erased his address as soon as I thought of it. Of course I wasn't thinking about you going to Hux because you didn't often talk to him or spent much time in his presence. I expected you to come to me first.”

Your voice was as shaky as you were, Kylo really was selfish. “So, how did he get hurt?” Kylo sighed, dropped his face into his palms. “I, I don't know if you should know.”

“Tell me Kylo!” You said, a little too loudly. He picked his head up, looking as you with lots of regret. “Apparently my men thought I wanted them to kill him.” Your heart immediately slammed into your rib cage and stopped right there. “They lured him out of his dorm some how and started shooting at him. He ran to the library for cover and they chased him off of the third floor. He was found early the next morning by a sanitation worker who called medbay. He got patched up and immediately sent home.”

You two stared at each other for an eternity before either of you said something. Silent tears slid down your cheeks. “Kylo, you could have killed him. You could have killed my friend!” You saw Kylo open his mouth to say something to you, instead of entertaining his excuses you dropped your head into your hands a bawled. You weren't thinking of the possibility of Noah falling off the balcony and breaking his neck, or even getting shot in the head by a blaster. He could have had his life snuffed out all because the man sitting right in front of you couldn't handle the fact that you originally wanted Noah and not him. What hurt even more was the fact that you were in the center of all of this. You were the reason Kylo sent his goons after Noah. You were to blame for everything Noah had been through.

“Y/n, this isn't your fault. Please don't think you're to blame for Noah's accident.” Kylo had sat next to you on the couch. He placed one hand on your bare thigh and the other moved your hair out of your face. When you looked up you were positively livid. Without thinking you slapped him across the face. He didn't even flinch, his eyes widened and for a split second you could see the anger everyone had told you about. You were already upset, you didn't want to feel the wrath of Kylo Ren that you knew you deserved for putting your hands on him. So you stood and made a beeline for the door. Behind you, you heard the leather of the couch squeak, indicating that Kylo had stood up as well.

“Wait, y/n!” You kept going, you didn't need Kylo brutalizing or even killing you for a stupid mistake that you had made.

“I deserved that. I deserved every second of that.” Just as your hand touched the door, you stopped at his words. Kylo stood a few feet away from you. His hand was facing out to you, as if ready to grab and stop you from leaving. His cheek was reddening with the imprint of your hand and he was looking like he desperately didn't want you to go. He wasn't angry at you for hitting him, he wasn't about to hurt you. He wanted you to stay with him, and you didn't need him to say it for you to know that he was sorry for the unfortunate events that he had put your friend through.

“Yeah, well you also deserve this.” You said with tears in your eyes .You boldly walked over to him and then kissed him right on his stupid jealous mouth. You both exhaled on each other as Kylo kissed you back, you were happy that you got to surprise him with a kiss this time around. Just as he brought his hand up to the back of your neck to hold you there you pulled away, leaving him there looking confused. It was like you dangled a cookie in front of him and then took it away, he could feel your forgiveness in the palm of his hands and you let it slip right out.

“Thank you for telling me the truth.” You said, looking him right into his stupid jealous eyes. He didn't say anything, you never gave him the chance to. He just looked at you with a pout, albeit a little bit happier than when he thought you were just going to leave with out saying anything.

You decided to leave him at that point, you couldn't say you were fully angry at him. After all, he just wanted Noah to be discharged. He really didn't mean to hurt him. But you wanted to be away from him, wanted some more time to reflect on all of the new information he had given you tonight.

You had just experienced first hand how dangerous Kylo Ren could be to the people around you, and yet for some reason you still wanted him to be yours.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two new life events: I just graduated from my class and Baby Jam just turned 3 months old on the first!


	11. Chapter 11

You spent the next few days off work. Kylo hadn't told you to come to work at all, he probably knew how upset you were with him-you know, the whole slap to the face thing. You were mourning the near loss of Noah's life, and just mourning your loss of Noah in general. You wondered how safe your other friend, Kim, was. Although you came to the conclusion that Kylo had hired her because she was old, he assumed you would not be into her at all. You had checked your bank account and saw that Kylo was still paying you for the days that you weren't working, and even sent you an extra hundred credits out of his personal bank account with the tag line “Buy yourself something cool.” It was clear he didn't want this “relationship” to end as much as you didn't.

You bought yourself some new make up online, and after watching hundreds of make up tutorials all by yourself you decided that enough was enough. You needed some company and you were ready to see Kylo again.

 

**You: Can I come over for dinner?**

 

You typed your response and sent it before you could chicken out.

 

**K. Ren: Dinner?**

 

**You: Please.**

 

**K. Ren: Sure.**

 

 

20 minutes later you stood outside of Kylo's door, dressed in just a simple blue shirt and some jeans. All you wanted to do was eat and apologize, you didn't need to be extra with any extravagant dresses or anything else.

Unlike the last time you were here, Kylo answered the door quickly. When he did, he was dressed in his regular robes, no helmet, and his boots. You thought it was weird considering the fact that he had been off work for quite some time now, he was supposed to just be relaxing. “Hi.” He said to you shyly. You smiled at him in response and made your way to the little dining room table like you belonged there.

 

The two of you ate in silence, you were still thinking of how to form your apology to him for hitting him. It was very wrong of you, you were heated and were just feeling awful for what Noah had to go through. Let's not forget that you had blamed yourself wholeheartedly, If you would have just left Noah alone he'd still probably be working for Hux, both of his arms would still be intact, and he wouldn't know what it was like to fall from a height of three stories. It wasn't all Kylo's fault either, he just wanted Noah gone, not hurt.

“I'm sorry.” You said, playing with the green beans on your plate. “For what?” You heard Kylo ask. “For hitting you. And, just for that entire evening. I'm really sorry.” You looked up at him, he was looking content. You could tell he was feeling a bit better after spending time with you and so were you. You honestly didn't even think he wanted you to apologize to him, from the look on his face eating dinner with you was enough.

“It's okay baby.” He said, standing and taking half a step toward you. He reached for your hand and pulled you to your feet, wrapped his arms around you and just held you in his warm loving embrace. You missed this, you missed him. His hands slid up your back and rested on the back of your head, bringing your head to rest on his chest. Your arms came up and hugged him back, slightly running your fingernails down his clothed back.

It was almost as if you two could communicate within your heads. Sure, he could get into yours with the Force whenever you weren't blocking him. But you had no Force ability whatsoever, so even if you tried you would not have been able to project your feelings to him. Maybe it was what he wanted and he didn't give a damn about you and your needs. Either way, you wanted and were happy to rid yourself of your clothes, to throw your knees over his shoulders and let him have you for as long as he wanted.

You didn't put any effort into pulling on his hair this time, mostly because he had told you to to relax and let him do all the work (which you were going to do anyway, ha). His eyes never left yours, he didn't even seem to blink. You knew he wanted you and only you, and you knew he was trying his best to make things right between you two.

For the second time, you had to remind him of what this was. You grabbed his face and rubbed under his eyes, he stopped thrusting long enough for you to say it: “Make up sex.” He nodded his head at you. “Make up sex.” He agreed, then went back to moving in and out of you. The first time you reminded him about what this was was when he had lifted you against the wall with the Force and buried his face into your cunt. You allowed yourself to pull on his hair, one part to make him feel good and two parts terrified of how high in the air you were. Kylo is a tall man, and just looking down triggered your fear of heights.

You dropped your knees further down his arms as to widen yourself for him, he was balls deep and stretching you so wide you felt like you were seeing things that weren't really there. Each stroke of his cock, each noisy slap of his balls, each drop of sweat that fell off of him and landed on you brought you closer and closer to the edge. Truthfully, you weren't looking to cum in that moment, you just didn't want the feeling to end. This was the best make up sex you had ever had, you just wanted to feel him gliding in and out of you forever.

So when Kylo made you come not once, but twice? You were more than impressed. He used nothing but his cock, stopping and pulling out of you while you calmed down from your first orgasm. He was watching you as he jerked his cock over your belly. You stared in awe as you thought he was going to cum on you, the sight would just be beautiful. You reached down in between your legs and played with your clit, the over stimulation was painful at first but you could feel it fading away and being replaced with pleasure.

Once Kylo caught sight of what you were doing, he leaned down over you. Placing his hand on the headboard to steady himself he made sure he was close enough to you so you'd feel his hot breath on your sensitive skin. “You want me to cum on you?” His eyes never left yours as he continued to stroke himself. You nodded your head as you frantically played with yourself, you could tell he was close to cumming too and you wanted nothing more than to cum to the sight of his cum splattering on your tits.

“Stop then. I told you I'd take care of it.” You felt your face turn red, all of the sudden embarrassed at being caught getting yourself off-as if Kylo Ren hadn't been in bed with you this entire time. You obeyed, removing your hand and placing them behind your head. Kylo stood a bit straighter, still hunched over your receptive body. He was huffing and puffing, shivering, and moving his hand on his cock as fast as he could. All the while there was a sudden presence was at your clit. Kylo was using the Force to get you off.

Your back was arching, you had never had Force sex with someone before but as of right now it was both wonderful and strange. The absence of a physical finger being there yet being able to absolutely feel Kylo's large digit flicking your clit back and forth was just strange. But you loved it!

Your hands balled, your toes curled, you were begging Kylo go to faster. “Kylo, please! I'm gonna cum. Please cum on me!” You wanted desperately to cum together, it would be the ultimate forgiveness. Kylo was breathless, you were slow to look down as his eyes shut and all too soon he was shooting his load all over you. The only thing you had seen was the first white ribbon in your peripheral vision, you saw it soar above your belly button and end up on the section in between your boobs. It took shape on one of the faded hickies Kylo had given you a few days prior. There were three more strands of cum, all ending up on or around your tits. You shook as you took in the scene and finally came undone at the sight of Kylo shaking with his cock in his hand, strands of cum still oozing from the head.

“Make up sex?” He asked you, pulling you up and cleaning your chest with his old shirt. You nodded in affirmation. “Make up sex.”

He was so beautiful and voluptuous. He was all yours.

 

Sex turned into falling asleep in the same bed once again, and in the morning you woke with Kylo. “What are you doing? Take another day off.” He suggested, to which you simply shook your head. You were slacking on your job and you knew they'd have something to say about it. “I want to work for you again, I'm bored.” Kylo looked at you puzzled, you knew that if he had the opportunity he'd take a day off in a heart beat. Maybe he just cared for you so much that he didn't want you to work, he just wanted to spoil you rotten.

After a while he nodded his head, grabbing his helmet and making his way to the bedroom door. “I'll have new clothes sent to you. You may return to work once you're dressed.” He leaned down and kissed you goodbye, grasping your cheeks possessively and bringing your face to his. “See you in a few.” He said, bidding you goodbye.

You sorted through his messages while eating an orange you had found hiding in the back of his fridge, it was hard to concentrate when you could still feel the warmth of his seed in all of the little areas it landed on your body from last night. What a sight to behold. And boy, for a man who (presumably) went three days without expelling himself held a lot! You made a mental note that, since you were already in too far and too deep, you'd have to have more of these “bonding” sessions with Kylo.

It made you think though, what was this anyway? You went from being a simple assistant to his bedmate in a matter of a few months. He was kissing you and had given you a cute nickname as if you two were a “thing.”

Which you clearly weren't.

There was no way that, even if you permanently took up residence in the First Order, you and Kylo would be together. You were just too different, opposites in every way shape and form.

Then again, they do say opposites attract.

You shrugged the thoughts off your shoulders and ate another slice of orange, that would be a worry for another day. You had to get back to work with your stupid glasses and itchy arm or there'd be hell to pay later.

Right on that thought the door opened and a droid with a new uniform walked in. With a smile you accepted the clothes and saw the droid out, stripping down in the middle of Kylo's living room and redressing, ready to see what this day had in store for you.

 

You went about your regular duties without second thoughts, taking care to see and hear every little thing that you had missed. You had realized it had been a while since you arm had been itchy, so in a completely empty corridor you decided to test and make sure it was still there to bother you.

“Kylo Ren.” You whispered, nothing. “Kylo!” you said a bit louder.

_Your arm itched_

You recalled at the beginning of your stay when your arm was continually itchy, going off at nearly anything and everything. Now it seemed to only be trained to listen for Kylo's name. Man, gotta love this day and age.

Speaking of Kylo, it had been hours since you had last seen him. You wondered if he was thinking about you, or if he was just working like he normally did. You wanted to see him, to talk to him, to tell him that you were thinking of him, but you didn't want to be the one to contact him first, that's what it always felt like as of recent. It was like you were an annoying girlfriend and it amused you to see that the rolls were reversed now.

But still, you wanted him to at least message you. He had to be thinking about you, he'd infatuated by you! Even if he just said “hi” you'd be satisfied. So you thought of an ingenious way to get your way.

For an hour you walked in circles. To the end of an empty hall, turn right, then down that hall, turn right, then down that hall, and turn right again until you were back to where you started. You knew he would be watching your tablet data and he'd be confused-it's not like you had anything else better to do right? Maybe next time you'd try to find a set of hallways and write out his name, because you're a loser with too much free time and are addicted to Kylo Ren's dick.

It did work, to your surprise. Your tablet vibrated at your hip and you immediately pulled it out to see Kylo had messaged you.

 

**K. Ren: Baby, why are you walking in circles?**

 

**You: Because I'm bored and have nothing else better to do.**

 

You stopped and leaned on a wall, he had fallen into your trap.

 

**K Ren: Go back to my quarters then. Relax.**

 

**You: Nah. I don't want to be in your quarters all day, I'll be even more bored.**

 

**K. Ren: Come to my office then. Leave your panties at the door when you get here.**

 

Now that's more like it!

 

You had made an effort to remember to remove your glasses before every sexual encounter with Kylo, and this one was no different. Kylo had cleared his desk and made you sit on top of it, dress hiked way up and legs spread as wide as you possibly could. He commanded you to play with yourself until you came because he couldn't get the image of you masturbating from last night out of his head.

So you replayed last nights frisk in your head over and over, moaning quietly and softly as to not get caught in the middle of this sinful act. Kylo kept his eyes on your lower half the entire time, not doing anything else really. He held one knee open with one of his hands and the thumb on his other hand softly and gently stroked his erection. As he sensed that you were close to cumming he started licking his lips, like he wanted a taste. He was so good with his mouth, you'd compare his talents with yours any day. Just the thought of those two times he had gone down on you brought you over the edge, and soon you were cumming in front of him.

On second thought, make that cumming _on_ him.

You hadn't even realized what happened until you heard his chair scoot back and opened your eyes. Kylo was covered in your juices. From his chin down to his breast bone, cum all over the place. He sat staring at your cunt stunned, like he didn't believe what you had done either. He then wiped his face and then looked down at his darkened shirt, then up at you with a face that could only be screaming “what have you just done?”

You snapped your legs shut and reached beside you for your glasses, ready to run out of there. “I'm sorry Kylo! I'm so sorry!” You profusely apologized as your arm began to itch. You had never realized you were capable of such a thing, but then again all of this with Kylo was brand new and you were learning new things about him and yourself everyday. “You, you made quite the mess y/n.” He stood from his chair and wiped his shirt off. You followed suit, scooting and sliding off of the table leaving a trail of your slick in your wake.

When you stood you could feel your cum sliding down your legs, no doubt about to drip down onto the floor, you really did make a mess! How in the world would you make it back to your dorm to get clean now?

Kylo must have heard your thoughts, because he proceeded to disrobe, handing the soiled shirt to you. “Get clean and then fetch me a new shirt.” He sounded so rigid and angry, you felt terrible. “R-Right away sir.” You said, dropping the shirt to the floor after wiping your cunt and legs down. “Y/n?” He called out to you just as you turned to leave. He reached for your hand and pulled you closer to him then took your cheeks between his fingers and thumb. He started to kiss you lightly, then mumbled something against your lips.

“That was the sexiest thing I've ever seen a woman do.” Suddenly your feelings of guilt melted slowly into validation, maybe it wasn't such a horrible skill to possess after all! Once he let go and you were staring at him lovingly he reminded you to go get him a new shirt, saying he couldn't hang out in his office shirtless all day. “That would be very suspicious.” He said. You laughed at him, agreeing that yes, the commander showing off his muscles all alone in his office would be very very suspicious.

You turned to leave, just as you did you spied something interesting on the pile of papers he had pushed to the floor. It was upside down, and you could hardly make it out but when you did it was like you hit a goldmine.

 

_First Order staff meeting on the whereabouts of the Resistance to be held on the 18_ _th_ _in staff room 8C on the 10_ _th_ _floor, 8 AM sharp. Level 5 security clearance personnel only, must bring badge and ID for entry._

 

You wished you had your glasses on.

You couldn't just stare at the ground like an idiot, you had to keep walking or else Kylo might actually have something to be suspicious about. Level 5 is the highest security clearance you could have in the Order, you were only a level 2 as an assistant to the Commander.

“And y/n?” Kylo called out to you once again. You turned around, thoughts clouded by how important it would be for you to attend that meeting. “Leave your panties right where they are.” You smiled at Kylo, too busy thinking of ways to get into that meeting. Just before you left, however, you saw Kylo walking towards the place where you had put your panties for him and unzip his pants. It would be the last fun image of Kylo you'd see for the day.

The rest of the day you'd spend plotting. You _had_ to be there for that meeting

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what to put here today, so I'm just gonna complain about not having a way to talk to you guys other than in the comments on here.  
> Ta-ta now. Off to take care of my Tamagotchi that I just recently found. Oh, and baby Jam too.


	12. Chapter 12

It was a let's have slow, silent, morning sex on the bathroom counter type of morning. The type of sex that was all touch and feel and moan and groan. Kylo stood in front of the counter with no shirt and his sweats down around his ankles while you sat on the counter, your back pressed against the mirror with your ankles wrapped tightly around his waist wearing nothing but his long white shirt. There was no talking, no eye contact, no hair pulling, nothing other than gentle, soft grunts, and the feeling of his muscular back under your fingertips.

When Kylo came you came shortly after. Not too powerful or painful as Kylo usually made it, but just enough to be enjoyable while still tired. It was lovely.

“Get ready for work.” Kylo whispered against your lips, still tired from waking early and taking time to fuck you in his own bathroom. “Mmm. I need a shower first.” You said, rubbing your eyes at the same time as eyeing up Kylo's beautiful shower. Kylo had leaned into the sink and placed his hands on either side of you as you placed your hands on his face. “A shower?”

“A shower.” You yawned, why had waking up this early just to have sex been a good idea again? Especially since Kylo was making you go to work now. “Need to go back to my dorm.” You scooted forward, thinking if you did he'd move out of your way. “No you don't.” He didn't move, you were awkwardly dangling between the counter and him. You stared at him confused and in pain, wishing he'd move so you could at least be comfortable on the floor.

“Take a shower in my shower.” He said, pushing on your rib cage so you'd sit back on the counter. You stared at him, not quite understanding what he said due to your sleepy state. “Go, take a shower. I'll join you.” You smiled at him, he was so sweet.

 

It wasn't as if you had never showered with someone before, but this time just felt so different. There were no sexual advancements, just getting clean. Passing the bar of soap, washcloth, sponge, shampoo, conditioner, and whatever else back and forth is basically all you did in between your regular shower routine. Maybe you had come to enjoy spending time with Ren? Who knows. At that point the only thing you were sure of was you loved the current closeness and intimacy you were sharing with Kylo under the hot shower spray.

You were washing your hair, eyes closed in deep concentration on making sure to lather up every single strand in order to achieve maximum shine (not really). When you decided that your hair was clean enough, you opened your eyes and saw Kylo staring at you. He hadn't really been staring while you were in the shower, so it caught you quite off guard. “What Kylo?” You asked as gently as possible. He sighed, then took the shampoo from your hand and placed it on the counter behind him.

“Would you ever consider being my significant other?” The question shocked you, who asks that kind of thing when you're both in the shower? What did he even mean?

“Um, you mean, like...?”

“I want you to be mine, Y/n.” The idle sounds of the water hitting the shower floor played in your ears, thankfully ridding you of the awkward silence you knew you'd have to sit in after the start of this conversation. Every synapse of your mind was screaming yes over and over. You would do anything to permanently associate yourself with the big muscular man standing in front of you. But! You had to think of your circumstances.

“Well, maybe.” You smiled shyly at the floor of the tub. You felt terrible rejecting him, and for a hot second considered abandoning your job to be with him. He took care of you, he made sure you were safe in the First Order, and recently hadn't acted like a complete controlling ass toward you. He probably loved you, that's why he asked. “Why maybe? Why not yes or no?” His face hadn't changed, he was still looking at you with that loving little smile.

“I, I don't know Kylo. It may not work.” You and Kylo maneuvered around each other so that you could rinse out your hair. “You can say no, y/n. I won't be offended.”

“I don't want to say no.” It was the whole truth, you wanted so badly to say yes.

“Well?”

“Aren't you married?” _Shit._ You didn't mean for that to slip out. You had mated with Kylo how many times now? And _now_ you ask if he was still married? You were, in all actuality, trying to get Kylo to say no. It would be far easier than you rejecting him.

He narrowed his eyes at you, and you quickly blocked all access to your mind. “I am widowed. How did you know I was married?”

_Haha, widowed. You wish buster._

_“_ It was all over the galaxy when you and her were married.” Kylo reached behind him and turned off the water, your queue to make your way out of the shower and to stop talking about Kylo's wife. “She was lovely. Her life was taken by the Resistance when they stormed the base a few years ago.”

_Again, haha. What about the other life that was rescued from you Kylo?_

“I'm sorry.” Was all you could say to his lies.

 

Later that day Kylo sent out off on your daily work rounds without another word about his “dead” wife or the fact that he wanted to date you. That was fine, it gave you time to think about how you were going to get into that meeting in three days. This meeting was basically your entire job, it was important that you made it in and out without being noticed or suspected of during the entire thing.

Originally, you thought about just asking your boss to let you attend, but you figured it wouldn't work since the note specifically stated you had to have level 5 security clearance to attend. You thought about constructing an audio device on the fly and finding a way to slide it under the door or attatching it to Kylo some how, but you didn't have the time. You even thought about killing a storm trooper and wearing his or her uniform in as Kylo's security, only that wouldn't work because he had no security on the base.

You were frustrated.

The next day you found yourself standing outside of the meeting room wondering how you would make it inside. It was at the very end of a long hallway and you were all alone. You were terrified you wouldn't accomplish your task. Not only would you be disappointed in yourself, but so would a lot of other people. You peered into the room via the small window on the door, looking for a vent you could crawl above and listen from there, or a closet you could hide in-something!

“Y/n?”

You jumped nearly out of your skin. You turned around to find Kylo standing right behind you. “You know, for such a big man you have quiet footsteps.”

“What are you doing back here?” Uh oh, you hadn't thought of an excuse as to why you were just hanging out in the conference room hallway. “I was just...meditating.” Kylo had on his mask, but you could just imagine the confused look he was giving you. “Well, meditation time is over. Let's take our lunch.” Lunch break, right. It was time for your shared lunch break.

 

After a quickie in Kylo's kitchen you two sat lounging in his bath tub. He had ordered food to be delivered to the bathroom and when it arrived it was delivered by a droid. Good thing, you didn't need anyone else seeing you nude but Kylo.

Once the food was gone Kylo poured some red wine for you. “I was serious about yesterday, And I'm willing to do anything to make it work.” You blushed as he picked up one of your feet and began massaging your sole. “Anything as in....letting me into your super secret meeting in two days?” He giggled, he looked so in love with you. “Can't do that baby I'm sorry.” Oh well. It was worth a try.

“I told you, I'd think about it.”

“What's the hold up? Why do you need to think about it?” He dropped your foot and picked up the other one to massage. “I don't know, it's just a lot to take in. You're my boss, you're the commander of the First Order, among other things.”

“Well, none of that has stopped you from sharing my bed, has it? What's the title 'my girlfriend' going to change?” You paused, taking in the feeling of his thumb pressing into the T of your foot. “Not much. But still. I'm not really one for commitment.” You lied. You'd commit yourself to him in a heartbeat. It wasn't as if you were seeing other guys, the guy you did want to see originally had been injured at your lover's hypothetical hand. Then a sudden, sad thought crossed your mind: What if you weren't Kylo's only?

“Nonsense. I've stayed faithful to you this entire time.” Well, that was good to know. “And you've not been with anyone but me. Why not make it official?” You sighed, everything he was saying made too much sense to say no. “I'm almost certain that you wouldn't let me see anyone else Kylo”

The feeling of your arm itching was strange under water.

“Well, you're right about that.” He said, dropping your other foot into the tub. “When you're ready to tell me your answer, you let me know. No rush, okay?” You nodded your head at him, he was so genuine in the moment and you wanted him so bad.

 

The day before the big meeting you were next to tears. You had no game plan and you were feeling more and more like a failure with each passing minute. You knew you'd get fired if you didn't intercept that information, it was only a matter of time after you got back home that you'd be kicked out on the streets. You grabbed a bottle of Hennessy that you kept in the back of your fridge and took a huge swing, plopped yourself down on your couch and resigned yourself to thoughts of street life. Maybe I wouldn't be that bad, it wouldn't take too long to find another job and place to live. It would be no where near as nice as where you live now, but still. A small shitty apartment in Coruscant is better than living in a box on the corner.

You could even think of places that would hire you right away, lots of little food stands and clothing stores that you'd love to work at over selling your body or drugs or even just begging on the street. Granted most of those stores would need to pay you under the table, but whatever. Money was money was money any day of the week. You took another swing, lay yourself completely down on your couch cushions and felt your fear and anxiety melting away. Life would not be so bad outside of the-

Under the table?

Under the table.

You came up with probably the worst idea you've ever come up with in your entire life, and by golly you were going to enjoy every second of it.

 

The next morning at 5 AM you were outside of the meeting room using bobby pins to pick the lock. This was probably the most stressful thing you've ever had to do inside of the First Order. If you were to get caught you'd probably lose your life. But important information was to be discussed, information that you needed. The way you saw it, you'd either die for not getting the info or you'd die getting caught trying to get it. Either way you'd die, and if you died while picking this lock at least you'd die a noble hero to your friends back home.

Two clicks later and you were in. The meeting room was dark and cold and quiet. When you closed the door and locked it again you couldn't help but wonder if this room was haunted. At least it would be if you were caught, you'd spend the rest of eternity in this room cause you'd likely be killed on the spot.

You took a look at the square table, it had a cloth over it the fell nearly all the way to the ground and was big enough to sit at least 12 people. You took a dive under the cloth and sat nervously on your belly. It was pitch black and the only noises there were was the nervous ringing in your ears. You were smart enough to not bring your datapad so that Kylo could track you down, the downside to that was you now had nothing to do for the next three hours. Oh well, you thought to yourelf. You were prepared to do anything for that information.

 

“Alright everyone, have a seat and gather 'round. We don't have all day and this is extremely time sensitive information.” You jolted awake as you heard chairs moving around you. You looked on frantically as empty chair legs were replaced with human ones, all dressed in black pants and skirts with black shoes. You sat silently on your butt as you drew your limbs in as close to you as possible, this was it. No going back now.

The last chair scooted away and in came a pair of long legs with boots attached to them, you'd recognize those boots and long legs from anywhere. You wanted so badly to crawl over and latch onto his leg or climb in his lap, you were terrified and he was probably the only thing that could calm you down in the moment.

“So we'll start by saying this, our undercover ground agents are mostly incompetent. They hardly ever relay any important information to us.” You watched as another pair of heavy black boots circled the table, presumably the man who was talking. “They send us bull shit every day and no one hardly bats an eyes lash at it. Up until a few days ago, that is. One of our agents managed to find their way into a night club where she managed to talk up a confirmed Resistance member. He led her back to where he lived and he gave up lots of information that a Resistance member would be absolutely mad to give up.”

 _Fuck._ You wished you knew who he was talking about.

He went on to speak about the sensitive information that was given up by the Resistance member, you were cringing the entire time. What a fucking idiot. You wondered what they were going to do to correct this morons actions. Unlike the First Order, the Resistance didn't believe in death for punishment.

You stared at Kylo's legs, you wanted so badly to run your hands up his muscular thighs. You found yourself not paying attention to anything the man was saying. You didn't really have to, you just had to be there to hear the information. You had gotten the basic idea though: The Resistance was fucked.

So you let yourself explore the memories you had shared with Ren, thinking of how many times you had seen those thighs completely bare naked. Mmm. Good memories. You tried to shake the thoughts, thinking of anything and everything else but nothing helped. You chocked it up to just the adrenaline that was running through you and how relaxed you were that, while sitting at the center of the table, no one could reach you. Even if they stretched their legs as far out as they could, and some of them were, they couldn't touch you.

So you allowed yourself to think your dirty thoughts about your boss under the table. You had your thoughts well hidden anyway, he wouldn't know that you were here. You were in the perfect position to suck him off, his legs were spread wide open, feet planted firmly on the ground. You had never actually blown him while he was sitting down before. You thought for a split second that now would be a good time to try, to crawl over and fish his cock out of his pants and shove it as deep into your throat as possible. It was such a sexy idea, but you thought better of it. If your cover got blown (no pun intended) you'd surely end up dead under this table.

It felt like hours and hours went by with this person talking, you were so bored staring at Kylo's shoes. They still weren't talking about anything important and you were just wishing they'd hurry up and end this stupid meeting.

_Where are you?_

The sound of Kylo speaking in your head startled you, not enough to jump up as you were afraid of getting caught.

_I can hear you, you're close by. Why aren't you answering my messages?_

Before you answered him in your head you crawled a bit closer to him. You sat on your knees like a slave before him, you wanted him to be shocked to see you. Surely he wouldn't be upset? I mean, it's not as if you were doing anything malicious by listening in on their meeting right?

Wrong, of course, but what did they know?

_I'm down here._

You said to him in your head. From the tiny shifts in his seat you could tell he was looking around. A devilish grin stretched across your face, it was time to fuck with him.

You placed a hand at his ankle and slide it up his leg, he jumped slightly at the contact.

_Shh. Don't draw any attention to me._

You said before he had a chance to look under the table. You slid your hand down his leg and then back up, this time reaching his thigh and over his crotch.

_Y/n. What the hell do you think you're doing?_

Your smile never faded as you thought to hell with it! He knew you were here now, why not suck him off under a meeting table?

You leaned up over him, placing all of your weight on your elbows on his knees. Holding your chin in your hand you ran circles around his crotch, trying to feel his cock or give him a clue as to what was going to happen. He was stiff as a board, every muscle in his body was tense as he was probably conflicted as all hell. Your finger explored his lap until it found his zipper and slowly and silently pulled it down. You smiled up at him, but of course you couldn't see him. You didn't even know if he was wearing his helmet or not. For his sake? You hoped he was.

You reached down into his fly and quickly found his cock. Sure, it wasn't too hard at the time but it was getting there. It just needed a bit of warm, wet help. And wouldn't you know it? That's what you were there for!

His cock stuck just out from his pants as you started to move your fingers up and down all over it. Before your very eyes it started to grow in length, to twitch and to fill with blood. Just as you wanted it.

_What are you thinking?_

He asked in your head

 _What are_ you _thinking?_

 

Once he was half erect you got down with your mouth, licking up and down the bottom before shoving all of it into your mouth. You could feel Kylo sit up a bit straighter as one of his hands flew to your head. It wasn't there for very long, you heard him slam his palm onto the table. There was silence, you stopped moving as to not draw attention to yourself under the table. Once the man started talking once more you got back to work, enjoying the feeling of Ren twitching under you. It went on for a few minutes, you would bob your head up and down your bosses member and when he'd draw so much attention to himself that the room would go quiet you'd stop, picking up when the man started to talk again.

What was great was when he stifled a moan that was so loud everyone stopped talking, you silently giggled around him. “Commander Ren, is everything alright?” The man asked him. “I'm...fine.” He said in a strained voice, you could tell he had on his helmet. “Okay then, moving on. This coming week we need to...” The voice trailed off as you got back to work on Kylo, taking your time to run your tongue over every ridge and vein you could find. At some point you decided to stop and just jerk him off. You watched as his cock twitched and pulsated, he was close to coming undone.

“Fuck.” He said in a voice that was just as strained as the last time. “Commander? Is there a problem?” There was no answer from him, so you continued your actions wondering how you were going to let him finish. Would you let him cum on you? In your mouth? On the floor? Or on himself? You felt the muscles in his thighs tense up, you had to decide and decide quickly.

You took mercy on him and latched onto the head of his cock, swirling your tongue around it until Kylo was shaking and pounding his fists on the table above you. It was silent save for Kylo's panting, and suddenly he roared “This meeting is over! Everybody leave!”

You could see everyone stand from their chairs and literally run out of the room. Once the door was closed Kylo scooted back, his cock bouncing as he stood. He looked down at you as you stared back at him lovingly. He'd want to fuck you now, you knew it. Right on this table is where he'd have you, you could hardly contain your excitement.

Only, that's now what happened. Kylo quickly tucked himself back into his pants and zipped himself up. You realized he was angry, his face was in a harsh pointed frown. He reached for your collar and pulled you up to face him. Without saying a word he pulled you from his seat and threw you out of the door.

“Follow.” Was the only word he said to you, and you obeyed without question. Now you had a reason to be afraid, Kylo had never been this angry at you before. You gulped, hoping that he wouldn't hurt you. Looking back, the idea to blow him during this extremely important meeting was a bad one. You should have stuck with your first instinct.

He led you to your dorm, opened your door with the force and you followed him in. “What the hell were you thinking y/n? What's gotten into you?” You felt like a small mouse cowering in front of him. “Why would you think that was a good idea? Huh?”

“I-I don't know. Kylo I'm sor-”

“No, you're not sorry. Why were you even in the meeting room in the first place?” You couldn't tell if he was shouting at you or not, his modulator did wonders when it came to controlling his emotions. “I was just trying to have fun, Kylo please don't be angry at me!” You were closer to tears than ever, Kylo was just asking you the other day to be his significant other very sweetly. Now he's turned into this? You didn't know what to say or do.

“That little stunt of yours was _not_ funny, y/n. With your expert credentials I would have thought someone like you would have more sense than to pull something like that int front of high ranking officers. You made me look like a fool in front of my entire team!” You didn't know how you were holding up that well, it felt as if Kylo was tearing you apart bit by bit. “Kylo, I'm sorry.” You apologized again quietly. It was all you could do to keep from crying.

“I'm suspending you from your job duties without pay y/n. You're lucky I don't take you and eject you right into the cold abyss of space, because that kind of action is deserving of death!” You watched as Kylo coldly turned and trotted out of your dorm, leaving you a shivering lonely mess. Had you know that this would be the outcome you would have never even considered hiding out under that table. Kylo Ren, your lover, was gone. You didn't know if he'd ever come back or see you the same way again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys don't know how long I've wanted to write that opening scene. I've had it in my head forever and ever!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to take the time to remind everyone that abusive relationships aren't cool. Whether the abuser is male or female it doesn't matter. If you feel like you're in a relationship that is or soon will become abusive get help, don't be afraid. No one has the right to treat you poorly and you deserve to be happy and with someone that will make and keep you happy!  
> Don't let this fic make you think I romanticize domestic abuse because that's what this is about at all.

All night long you sat in your bed crying. That was such a dumbass move that nearly cost you your job, why had you thought that was a good idea at all? You were drunk, later on hung over, not thinking straight, and it ruined your relationship with your boss and cost you your job in the First Order. It wasn't like you needed the credits really, you just enjoyed working and knew that other people were counting in you to do your job here correctly.

And you went and blew it.

That same night you texted your boss, hoping to apologize and make things right. It was nearly 3 AM and you were dead tired but couldn't sleep, what did you have to lose?

 

**You: I'm so sorry, Commander. I'm sorry I made such a poor decision that almost cost us both of our lives. It was stupid and uncalled for. I hope you let me back to work soon.**

 

You knew better than to call him Kylo, that name was strictly for pleasurable meetings between the two of you. You sat for a few minutes, wiping your eyes and imagining what shit he was going through at the moment because of you, it wasn't a pretty sight. Before you knew it half an hour had passed and you got no response. With a heavy sigh you decided to go to bed.

The next morning you woke to a new message from the Commander. You put it off for a while, making a pot of coffee and having two slices of toast for breakfast before unlocking your tablet and reading what he had to say to you.

 

**K. Ren: I hope you understand why I had to be so firm. You may return to work in four weeks.**

 

You felt the tears swell in your eyes again, four whole weeks of no work for you.

 

The first two weeks you spent going from the cafe for food three times a day and sulking back home. You couldn't be bothered to cook, what was the point if you got three mediocre meals cooked for you a day and you had no energy? Nothing would compare to the meals Kylo spoiled you with during your time together, but you knew you wouldn't be getting anything that good for a while.

It was the same routine: wake up at 6, leave for breakfast at 7, leave for lunch at 2, leave for dinner at 3, shower, and sleep. Thats how it was for two weeks before something inside you just changed. He never said you couldn't leave your dorm right? So hypothetically speaking you could go out to the lounge for a drink or two. Just something to take off the edge right? It was bad for you to be cooped up in the house all day, even if you were on probation.

He just said you couldn't go to work, not have fun.

 

So the next evening you found yourself in a pair of skinny jeans and a black T shirt sitting in the lounge sipping on some alcohol, not enough to make you drunk just a bit buzzed. You didn't want to further ruin your reputation within the Order by getting hammered and embarrassing yourself.

A boy came to chat you up, not flirty in the slightest. You welcomed the contact, you hadn't actually talked to anyone in two weeks. You decided to go to one of the rec rooms and shoot some pool, you hadn't intended to let the evening go any further than that.

But of course you were full of bad decisions.

When you play pool you must bend over, and when you bend over you tend to receive some male attention. The boy you were playing with was surely giving you that attention, visibly checking out your ass. Your response was to stick that ass in the air even more. You shouldn't have been drinking, alcohol never agrees with you.

So he was orbiting you, eyes glued to your behind with his pool cue held tight in his hands. You struck the cue ball and watched it strike your purple solid into the side of the billiard table and right into the corner pocket. Before you could lean back up, however, the boy ran his hand from your lower back and down your backside, smacking your left butt cheek just a tad. You squeaked and giggled just a bit, how frisky.

At the time you weren't thinking about Kylo. You were sure he was still angry and wanted nothing more to do with you. He hadn't contacted you since he sent you that message the morning after all that shit went down, it was time for you to move on. So you accepted the boys hand as it slipped into your back pocket and grabbed a handfull of your cheek, looked back and smiled brightly at him. Sure, you were promiscuous, but who cares? You weren't seeing anyone at the moment and it wasn't going to go any further than this.

But it wasn't going to go any further for a completely different reason than you stopping it.

 

You heard a crack, a blood curling scream as the boys hand flew off of your backside. You turned to see him holding his wrist in pain, looking toward the door in complete fear and agony. You couldn't turn around fast enough though, because before your very eyes he flew up into the air, hit a framed photo of Captain Phasma that shattered into pieces and fell to the ground. Glass shards were sticking out of his skin in random places and the scene was a blood filled mess.

You never got his name, so all you could do was gasp and scream at him. While you were in the process of turning around you were lifted up and thrown over someones shoulder, all you saw was a flash of black robes. You immediately knew who had ruined your evening after that.

“What the hell do you think you're doing? Put me down now!” You were banging on his back, watching his boots thump on the ground over and over again. He said nothing to you, just gripped your thighs tighter as he carried you throughout the hallways and to his quarters. The nerve of that man! When you two had made it to his quarters he carried you all the way to his bedroom and dropped you on the bed, not gently at all and with little regard to you and your needs.

You sat straight up, crossed your arms over your chest angrily and glared at him, waiting for an explanation. Kylo was staring down at you with that bucket on his head like a coward. “What the hell was that?” He asked. “I could ask you the same thing!” You nearly shouted, this was unbelievable. He was speaking to you like you had committed a crime. “You sat there and let that boy put his hands down your pants like-”

“Like what, Kylo? Like we're a 'couple?'” you put air quotes around the word couple to exaggerate how you were feeling. “I never answered your question, you know.”

“You never answered but I know your answer, y/n. And you letting that boy touch you was unacceptable.” He had you stumped, even he knew you wanted to commit yourself to him. It wasn't like you could just say no to him now. “Well, I haven't said yes yet so I can do whatever the fuck I want.” He said nothing, instead taking a few steps away from you. Through the modulator you heard him sigh pretty heavily, this entire situation was stressing both of you out. “You're so fucking jealous Kylo. It's so stupid and annoying.” You said starting to stand up. You wanted nothing else to do with this conversation and Kylo. Even if you could be with him you doubted it would work with how jealous he was.

“Well did you maybe think that I have feelings for you and it upsets me to see you flirting with all these other guys?” You had to give it to him, that was a valid point. But you couldn't take it too seriously with that stupid helmet masking his real voice. “Kylo, it's not acceptable to injure all of the dudes that I show interest in just so I can be with you! It's...it's scary! And dangerous, and a huge turn off.”

“Y/n I'll do anything I have to to keep you in line until you lie to me and tell me you don't want me.” That sentence was just too much. Too crazy and too over the edge. What else did he mean by 'anything?' You really didn't want to know. “Then my answer is no! Goodbye Kylo!” You said, fully intending to leave and never come back to him. You knew Kylo could get wild, and you figured if he saw anyone as a threat to your relationship they'd be either injured or killed-he had done a good job showing restraint for the time being but you knew what he was actually capable of. It was officially time for you to abort mission, you were in too deep and you were starting to be afraid of being around Kylo.

So you made your way to the door as confident as you possibly could, ready to pack your bags and high tail it off of Star Killer base as fast as possible. When you got within a foot of the door you were forcefully yanked back by your forearm. Kylo had pulled you back to the bed and stood you right in front of him. “Kylo, what the _fuck!_ ” You brought your arms down to your hips angrily, beyond frustrated with everything going on.

“You're not going anywhere. Lay down in the bed.” Under his helmet you could hear the irritation in his voice. “No! I'm going back to my dorm. Goodnight!” You tried to make your way past him when he took hold of you again, lifted you in the air by your hips and _slammed_ you into his bed. He held you there by your arm as you struggled under him, terrified of what he was going to do to you. “You're staying right here where you belong. Remove your clothing until you're comfortable. Do you need the restroom?” You looked at him confused, was this really happening to you? Kylo was actually holding you hostage in his quarters right now. You had reason to believe this was the end, now he'd never let you go and you'd be stuck in the First Order forever.

“No?”

“Kylo you're being ridiculous. Let me-” You tried to lift your torso off of the bed but Kylo pushed you back down. “No. You're going to sleep in your jeans?”

“Kylo _stop!_ ” You screamed, violently moved your body to get out from under his grasp but nothing helped. He had you pinned down and he wasn't letting you go. “Good night, Y/n.” He placed his hand on your forehead and you knew what was going to happen. Before you got to let out a scream, you fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

 

The sensitive spot between your collar bones was buzzing with pleasure. A hot tongue was gliding across it, sucking on it, and kissing it over and over. It was almost enough to make you forget where you were and what transpired the night before.

Kylo was leaning above you, gently stroking your hair behind your ear and toying with your sensitive spot. He kissed his way across your chest and up your neck, the action making you all the more wet with anticipation. Before he could get to your lips you stopped him. Without even opening your eyes you turned your head and turned on your side away from him, throwing him off of you at the same time. You mumbled a sleepy no and held your eyes tighter, trying your best to ignore him

“Go back to sleep, baby. Message me if you need me.” As angry as you were at him, you took his advice and went back to bed. You knew he was leaving for work and you didn't feel like you had the energy to jump up real quick and leave with him-if he even let you leave. Plus you didn't want to hear what he had to say about last night, getting too physical and borderline violent with you and basically drugging you to sleep was a terrible thing and you didn't want his apologies. You just wanted out.

When you woke again it was nearly noon. You had slept so well in his always comfortable dreamy bed that you almost didn't want to leave, but you had to for your own sake and well being. So you jumped up, grabbed your tablet and secretly thanking Kylo for putting you to sleep in your day clothes for it saved you lots of time leaving. You speed walked out of his room and to his front door, making plans to not even save anything from your dorm and just going straight to the hangar. The First Order had become a danger zone for you, you didn't belong here to become Kylo's hostage.

When you made it to his front door you found that it didn't open like it had during the early days you spent here. You scanned your hand and pressed the button several times, but nothing happened. The door never unlocked or opened, you were stuck here.

You almost wanted to cry you felt so hopeless. This was turning from a cutesie fuck buddy relationship to a hostage situation. He couldn't keep you locked up like this, you weren't his prisoner. At best you were still his lover and at worst you were his assistant that he had to place on probation. He had no right to treat his perspective girlfriend like this!

Holding back the tears and panic you typed out a message to him, you had little hope that he'd comply but it was worth a shot.

 

**You: Wtf. Unlock the door!**

 

**K. Ren: We'll talk when I get home tonight after work.**

 

**You: Please Kylo, I don't want to do this with you. I'm scared and want to go back to my dorm.**

 

**K. Ren: You are fine Y/n. You've stayed in my quarters before and lived. You are still on probation for another two weeks and will serve the remainder of your punishment in my quarters where I can keep an eye on you.**

 

**You: You and I both know that's not why you're keeping me here. Please just let me go. You hurt me last night and I don't want anything more to do with you.**

 

**K. Ren: Like I said, we'll talk when I get home tonight.**

 

You spent a long time crying on his couch, wishing there was a way you could contact your friends back home and tell them you were in a horrible situation. They would surely help you out if given the opportunity. But no. They said giving you a way to contact them was dangerous and could blow your cover faster than you could say TIE Fighter. So you were stuck fending for yourself and hoping you didn't get killed while on the base.

At some point the door to his quarters opened, you jumped up expecting it to be Kylo but thankfully it wasn't. Just a droid pushing a cart with a covered plate of food on it. You thanked it as you took the food off of the cart and placed it onto the dining room table. Once it left the door closed and locked right behind it.

Kylo had been kind enough to send you lunch: a simple turkey sandwich with some chips on the side and a bottle of soda. You sat and ate alone, enjoying the background noise of the TV because it made you feel less lonely. You thought solemnly of how you made him angry first, blowing him and nearly costing him his job. You were so worried that you'd never see him or be with him ever again. Now look at you. You had seen part of his ugly side and wanted nothing to do with him. Maybe, had to stayed in your dorm for two weeks you could have avoided all of this commotion. Maybe if you hadn't started a special type of relationship with him you wouldn't be in this situation.

Maybe you should have never set foot on Star Killer base. Then your heart and your physical well being would still be intact.

 

After lunch you lounged on the couch in your nice prison, dreading the moment Kylo would return. When he finally did you cringed as you heard his heavy footsteps make his way toward you, closed your eyes and tensed up. You weren't really sure what you were afraid of, in your mind you really didn't think Kylo was capable of causing you anymore physical harm. Not after how you reacted to him grabbing you a little too hard. If he wanted you badly enough that he'd almost kill somebody to keep them away from you, you trusted that he'd not ruin his relationship by putting his hands on you.

“Hi.” He said, you looked up and saw he was sans helmet. He had a serious look on his face, like he wanted to get down to business. “Hi.” You answered, sitting up on the couch. He squatted down to be on your eye level. “So, about last night...” He trailed off, you took the opportunity to immediately voice your concern.

“You hurt me. You held me down and you-”

“I know, Y/n. I know. I get it.” He said, looking down at his toes and releasing an exasperated sigh. “Look, things got out of hand last night, and I'm sorry.” He lifted his eyes back up to you, the gold rods in his irises glistening a little bit in the light-he was about to cry. “I, I lost control of myself when you said you were leaving, it's not what I wanted you to do and it's not what I wanted to do either. I just...it's just I want, I want...” He bit his lip and took your hands in his, suddenly pulling you to your feet in front of him.

“I want you, so bad. You just don't understand. I just really couldn't stand seeing you leave like that. And it really does hurt me when I see you hanging around other men, because I know you and I share the same feelings for each other. I was afraid you were going to walk out of that door and never come back. I just am not capable of dealing with that kind of heartache right now.”

The man was intentionally tugging your heartstrings, making you feel sympathy for him and making you regret trying to leave. All the signs of the start of an abusive relationship. Something you knew Kylo was known for.

But of course, he had you under his spell. You were split in two. Your logical side was screaming at you to get away, to run back home and never look back. These types of relationships never ended well, and you knew things could get a lot worse and a lot uglier. Your emotional side was telling you to stay, that he loved you and you could almost say the same thing about him. You thought he was being sincere as he told you he never wanted to put his hands on you like that again, that he regretted every second that he had to drag you or hold you down. He just wanted you and only you.

For a split second, you even thought about abandoning your friends back home to be with him. But that would be preposterous.

Still, you wanted him. You wanted him as you threw your arms around his neck and hugged him hard, wanted him as you locked your legs around his waist, wanted him as he carried you to bed and made love to you the way he always did; slow and steady.

“I'm sorry, please forgive me” sex was always great. Kylo took his time to make sure you were comfortable and went out of his way to pleasure you. He worshiped your body, getting you off twice with his mouth before fucking you. You held on tight, looked up at him lovingly. What was it about this guy that made you want to throw all caution to the wind and hope he didn't get angry with you again? Was it his looks? Charm? Power? Who knew. All you knew was you had agreed to stay with him under the grounds that if he ever scared you like that again you were free to go wherever you wanted to. Would he follow those rules? Again, who knew.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming down to the last few chapters now guys. I loved writing this story.


	14. Chapter 14

 

You had made yourself as comfortable as you could in Kylo's quarters, it wasn't too hard but you hated the feeling of not being able to leave. It was the same day in and day out for those two weeks: Kylo kissed you on the cheek every morning before he left for work while you slept, sent you breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the same time every day, and you would find things to entertain yourself until he got home. The sex was good as always, it was a great way to pass the time. You and Kylo had fucked nearly everywhere in his quarters during those two weeks; in his hallway, his bath tub, shower, kitchen, couch. There was one room, however, he wouldn't let you go in. You didn't think much of it, it was probably where he kept his grandfathers mask.

Once the two weeks were up you were anxious to get back to work and out on the base. Being cramped up in Kylos quarters doing nothing but eating and having sex was exhausting, so a refreshing scene and seeing faces other than his was something you were so excited for. You woke up that morning at the same time Kylo did with a huge smile on your face. “Time to get up and go to work!” You exclaimed, kicking the blankets off of you and stumbling to the floor. You made a beeline to Kylo's closet where you housed your work uniform once it made it to his house, but was quickly drawn back by the Force.

“No working today, only cuddling.” He said as you flew into his embrace, your bodies connecting like puzzle pieces. “Kyloooooo.” You groaned, you had been so looking forward to stepping out of his quarters today and his defiance just made you angry. “Relax, baby. I've never seen someone as excited to go to work as you.” You flipped yourself over to look at him, he rested his hand on your cheek. “But I'm so ready to get out of here.”

“What's wrong with my quarters?” Kylo giggled. “Nothing! I've just been here for two weeks straight. I have cabin fever.”

“You're so silly.” Kylo said starting to get up and out of bed. “But you can't leave quite yet. I have to fill out your paperwork first.” You let out possibly the loudest, annoyance filled groan you ever had in your life. “You're fucking with me.” You said sitting up and following him with your eyes into the bathroom. “Not a chance baby. I have to do things by the book or else people might get suspicious.” You heard the water start running, he was probably about to brush his teeth.

“But you're Kylo Ren! You can do whatever you want including having sex with your assistant!” He never answered you. “Kylo!” You shouted at him, nothing. “Kylo! I want to leeeeaaaave!”

“Stop whining, y/n.” He said from the bathroom. He sounded annoyed, you shut up quickly. “You'll get to leave this afternoon. I'll message you when I unlock the door, okay?” He sounded like he was talking to a child, which you could admit to yourself you were acting like. With a huff you lay back down on the bed, utterly defeated. “Fine.” You said bitterly. “But this afternoon, no exceptions!”

 

As soon as noon came around you stood next to the door, you were fully aware that “afternoon” meant any time between 12 and 5 pm, but you were erring on the side of 12. You stood and stood, sat next to the door, played with the button that opens it, but nothing happened. “Kylooo.” You groaned under your breath, it was now 1:30 and the door still wasn't unlocked. How had you gotten into this situation again?

Oh yeah, alcohol.

You deserved every minute of this. You resigned yourself to sitting on the couch sadly, waiting for Kylo's message saying he's releasing you from your prison.

Several episodes of some stupid ass TV show later you found no messages and an empty stomach. You sighed, now you'd really have to contact Kylo. You picked up your datapad hopeful to find a message from him, but almost as you had expected he had not sent anything to you.

 

**You: I'm hungry.**

 

**Kylo: I'll send you lunch.**

 

**You: Have you filled out my paperwork yet?**

 

**Kylo: I'm busy.**

 

You let out an angry growl, throwing yourself back down on the couch. How can he be so busy he can't let his own lover out of the house? Doesn't he know you'll just bitch to him all day long until he does? _Ugh._ Whatever, he promised you that you'd leave today. You would just have to trust him.

Later, you watched as the same droid that had delivered your meals to you all week long opened the door, strode in with a salad with bottles of dressing on the side, handed it to you, then left. A small voice in your head told you to run, the droid had deliberately left the door open and all you had to do was run for it. You stepped toward the door, hearty green and red salad in hand, ready to act on your plan, but quickly stepped back toward the dining table. The droid beeped to tell you have a nice meal, then rolled itself out of Kylo's quarters. You sat down and started to pour the dressing over your salad, not today. You didn't know how Kylo would react if you had gotten out, and you honestly didn't want him to hurt you. Again, you were leaving today. There was no reason to anger Kylo when you were already leaving.

 

4 pm came and went, you were getting even more frustrated by the minute. You picked up your tablet and messaged Kylo several times, hoping he was just “busy” enough to have forgotten about you. It was now 6 pm, you were getting hungry again and it was almost time for Kylo to come home. Kylo never answered any of your multiple “Kylo!” messages, and at that point you knew he was ignoring you. When he finally walked through the door you jumped up, attempted to push yourself past him and make a run for it , but he swiftly caught you by your arm and pulled you back in front of him

“Anxious to go somewhere?”

“Yeah, back to my dorm.”

“Not yet.” The door closed behind him and made his way to the bed room. “What!? Kylo!” You shouted and followed him down the hall. “Kylo! Hey Kylo, that wasn't what we agreed on!” Just as you made it to the bed room he was closing the door to his bathroom. “Open the fucking door Kylo!” You banged your fists on the door as hard as you could. “You told me I could leave today! Open the god damn door!”

You stopped beating when the door handle jiggled and Kylo emerged, comb in hand, you could hear the toilet finishing a flush. You stood defiantly in front of him, crossing your arms and demanded an explanation. He was wearing his helmet, his visor pointed down at you. You wished you could see his face so bad, you wanted to know if you were intimidating him or not.

“What should I order for dinner?” You couldn't believe what had came out of that modulator.

“What?!” You nearly shouted at the top of your lungs. Your only wish in that moment was to shoot that stupid bucket off his head. “Shut up! I don't want anything for dinner I want to go home!” You stomped your foot on the ground, why the hell was he being so casual about holding you hostage? You didn't have to let him keep you here for the last two weeks, he should have been grateful that you even stayed that long! “Lasagna it is then.” He stepped aside you, walking toward his tablet that sat on the bed.

“Kylo! I'm serious, I want to go home. Please let me go home!” You watched as he set the tablet down and released the latches on his helmet. He pulled it off and set it on the bed next to his tablet carefully, his beautiful black hair was sweaty like he had ran a marathon or something. Kylo walked over to the mirror he undressed you in when you first had sex, he began to calmly run the comb through his hair, looking at himself and only himself and ignoring you.

“Are you listening to me? Kylo!” You walked right up behind him, pushed him slightly as to get his attention. “Kylo! Fucking listen-”

“You're staying.” Was all he could offer you. “Nooooo the fuck I'm not. You promised me I could leave today.”

“I thought I told you to stop whining?” He said, you could hear the bit of edge in his voice. Oh well, if being annoying got you out of his quarters then you'd become Jar Jar Binks on cocaine. “I'll whine as much as I want to. I'll whine until you let me out of this prison!” You flickered your eyes to the left of his body to catch a glimpse of his face. He was still looking at himself as he combed through his hair as he often did after work. His face was hardened, impossible to read. “This isn't up for argument y/n, and this is hardly a prison.”

“Says you who gets to leave whenever you want to. I've been staring at the same walls for the last two weeks.” There was silence between you two, that's when you realized just mindlessly saying Kylo's name was not going to help you in breaking out of his quarters. “Can you at least tell me why you aren't letting me leave then?” Maybe if you knew why he wanted you to stay you could reason with him on letting you go.

“I don't need to tell you a reason, y/n. You're staying because I said so.” Kylo dropped the comb to his side, squeezing it so hard you could see little indents in his palm. Looking at himself in the mirror he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Fucking maker, Kylo you are so ridiculous. You said you'd let me out this afternoon and you didn't, and now you tell me you're not going to let me leave 'because you said so?' Do I look like a child to you?”

“Well you're certainly acting like one.” He started to run the comb through is hair again, albeit a lot faster and a lot more forceful. “No, I'm acting like a woman being held hostage by her lover.” He said nothing in reply to that statement. You were hoping you'd trigger something inside of him by calling yourself a hostage-because that's exactly what you were. You rolled your eyes, reverted back to just saying his name over and over. This time you pulled on his shirt over and over, jerking his arm and messing up his hair combing session.

“Kylo, fucking listen-” Suddenly Kylo forced his elbow back, hitting you in the face and pushing you back slightly. It wasn't him elbowing you that scared you, it hardly even hurt. It was the sight of him throwing the comb over your head so forcefully that you heard it make a hole in the wall.

“ _I said you're staying and that's final!”_

Kylo shouted, literally screamed, at you. He was so loud you thought you could feel the sound waves hit your face. Sometime in the middle of his sentence you shut your eyes out of fear, when you opened them again you were met with a very angry Kylo. His face was red, eyes wide open as if he could see right through you. You could see the veins on the side of his head and neck and could tell one he was done yelling at you that his jaw was clenched, putting an insane amount of pressure on his teeth. He was shaking as he turned back toward the mirror, looking at himself and running his fingers through his hair as he no longer had his comb.

Kylo might as well have stabbed you square in your chest, at least that's how you were feeling. Your chest was aching with sadness and remorse, with fear and shock. You absolutely could not believe he had yelled at you like that. You stepped away from him, every nerve and inch of your body trembling, worried that at any moment he was going to turn around and yell at you some more. But he didn't, just stood there steaming while you slowly and silently made your way to your side of the bed.

You sat down, staring at the area where the wall met the carpet. A lump was beginning to constrict your throat as you thought 'why me?' Why was it you that was sent to do this job? Why was it you that Kylo wanted so bad? Why was it you that made the poor decision to sit in his meeting? Why was it you that he took his anger out on? Why you?

You sniffed as your nose started to run, then the tears dripped down one by one. You felt weak and defenseless.

You _were_ weak and defenseless.

The tears were coming faster and faster, you were sniffing over and over. You were weak, you didn't want to draw any attention to yourself but you were crying so hard now it was impossible to silence your melancholy.

“Y/n.” From the way Kylo said your name you could tell it was meant to be a question, instead it came out as almost forced, like he was just now realizing he had hurt you. “Y/n!” Once he realized you were shaking and crying uncontrollably he said your name again, you could hear him quickly making his way over to you. You turned toward the head of the bed as he rounded the corner and reached for you. “Kylo please, go away.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, a coping mechanism you learned when you were younger. For some reason it made you feel less alone.

You were audibly crying now, unable to hold back now that Kylo's mood had done a complete turn around and he was now concerned for you. He stood there for a second, then you heard his boots step away from you. Once you had heard him walk out of the bedroom you really let go, being loud and free with your tears. As you bawled you heard the front door open and close, Kylo had left you in his quarters and now you were alone once again.

 

You cried by yourself for 20 minutes after Kylo left but it felt like you had been crying for days. No man had ever hurt you like Kylo had just now. You had been left for other women (and in one case a man), been cheated on several times, degraded, stood up, and almost gotten married once, but not once had a man yell at you out of anger. It was hurtful, you didn't know if you'd recover from such a thing.

You rubbed your eyes with the back of your hand and found that your right eye, the eye Kylo had elbowed, was sore. You winced as you stood, apprehensively making your way to the bathroom to check out your eye. You really didn't think you'd see much seeing as though your eye wasn't hurting when his elbow made contact with it, but you were wrong.

When you turned on the light what you saw made you gasp. The skin around your eye was bright red and puffy, parts of it were even turning purple. A bruise was forming, Kylo had actually messed your face up in his rage. You felt your way around using the very tips of your fingers, the outer most corner of your eye was more sore than near your nose, you could almost see the outline of his elbow.

This was horrible. Kylo got angry and took it out on you. All you wanted to do was leave, but instead you got elbowed in the face and you got yelled at.

You allowed yourself to cry some more on Kylo's bed until you felt your datapad vibrate next to you.

 

**K. Ren: I'm sorry. I should not have raised my voice at you.**

 

 _No shit._ You locked it and set it back down, fully intending to ignore the man as he had ignored you earlier. But no, your tablet vibrated three more times.

 

 

**K. Ren: Did I hurt you? I'm sorry.**

 

**K. Ren: What do you want for dinner?**

 

The third message from Kylo, you had to admit, caused just the tiniest bit of sympathy to rise from your heartbreak.

 

**K. Ren: Please talk to me Y/n.**

 

It wasn't enough sympathy for you to forgive him for hurting you. So fuck it, he can message you all evening long if he wanted to. It wasn't going to change how you felt unless he let you leave.

You sulked for the rest of the evening, your tears coming softly on and off until you heard the front door open again. You hoped it was just a droid delivering you food, but your soul was crushed when you heard footsteps coming toward the bedroom. You quickly turned on your side, occupying yourself with the tablet and trying to ignore him. He was the last person on this god forsaken snow planet you wanted to talk to.

It hardly surprised you that he walked right over to you, squatted down in front of you and just stared at you. You kept your eyes glued to the First Order News page, just scrolling up and down. You wouldn't dare grace that man with your attention for one minute.

“Y/n.” Ignored.

“Your eye, did I-”

“Yes.” Was the only thing you could say to him. No 'I forgive you,' no 'I hope you die,' no 'Let me out,' just 'yes.'

“I'm sorry.” He sighed, for some reason hearing him actually say it made you even angrier. “I really didn't want to hurt you, I just lost control of myself and took my anger out on you. It was my fault.” You let out a “Pfft,” then turned away from him. “Look, I know you're angry at me. I deserve it. I wish there was a way I could make it up to you but I know there's nothing I could do, other than this.” You heard some crinkling coming from behind you. Your ears perked up and you turned around only to come face to face with a huge bouquet of colorful roses. Your jaw dropped, your eyes flicked to Kylo and saw he had the most serious look on his face. He looked like a lost puppy, a child looking for validation.

He looked like Kylo silently begging for your forgiveness.

You sat up and took the flowers from him, if anything they were pretty and you wanted them for yourself. “Take those as a physical apology, you don't have to forgive me for hurting you. Just know I'm so very sorry for shouting at you and hurting you.” Kylo stood, you watched him leave the room and once again you were by yourself, this time with your flowers laying across your lap.

Eventually, you did decide to leave the room and seek out Kylo's attention. You walked from the dark hallway and found Kylo sitting at the dining room table, if you didn't know any better you would have thought he was meditating. However, it was obvious that he was sulking. You held onto your flowers, cradling them like they were a baby.

“Um, I'll forgive you...” You watched as Kylo picked his head up, his eyes sparkled with hope as you started talking to him. “Under one condition.” You two had a stare off, you knew deep down Kylo knew what you were going to say.

 

Minutes later you were clutching Kylos waist, dressed in a full snow suit, screaming at the top of your lungs as Kylo piloted a snow speeder through the woods as fast as he could. You had the biggest grin on your face as you saw flashes of white snow and some green trees fly past you. It was actually Kylo's idea to take out a snow speeder, you just wanted to take a walk around the base. He said he enjoyed driving them and never had an excuse until now. He dodged through the trees, over snow hills, pulling doughnuts and figure 8s in the snow. It was such a thrill, you wished you could experience this every day.

You and Kylo went back to your dorm for some hot chocolate and to snuggle on the couch while watching TV, and afterword Kylo made love to you as if he hadn't nearly every night for the past two week. It was bittersweet doing it in your own bed, on one hand it was much smaller than his and it was a bit cramped. But on the other, it was somewhere new, somewhere you had never taken your lover before and it was a new place to add to your list of “places I fucked my boss.”

Your evening with Kylo was amazing save for being hit in the face and yelled at, and one more thing. Kylo had just gotten your clothes off and started to suck and bite marks into your skin, but he had forgotten one thing. “My glasses, you dope.” You giggled as you removed your hands from his hair and pulled your big ass glasses off your face and set them onto your bedside table. “You don't like your glasses?”

“No not really. Kiss me again!” You didn't want to talk about your shitty glasses, you wanted Kylo to fit his tongue in your mouth some more. “But they look so good on you, baby.” You watched as he reached over you and toward the night stand. His hand returned in your view, this time with your black glasses intertwined with his fingers. “Lets do it with the glasses on, just for tonight. He slipped them onto your face and you stared at him with a blank expression. As the foreplay continued you never took them off, Kylo had mostly followed your direction when the two of you were in bed, you probably owed him this one small victory.

His tongue ran over your collar bone as he started to push his way into your wet cunt. This was going to be awkward.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you haven't noticed, everything is going downhill lol. At most there's two chapters left!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ready to find out what all that arm itching was about?  
> Shout out to Cheeky_Monkey for inspiring the last line lol.

You really should have known better than to go back to Kylo's quarters after four long and glorious days of freedom. You really _really_ should have known better. But you were lured in by a midnight message containing a certain dick that you had come to know every inch and ridge of, one that you could recognize from far away and one that would always make both ends of you water.

So you crept down the halls of Star Killer base, wearing a sweater and shorts and nothing underneath. Little did you know, you'd be creeping down the halls only once more, and not for the reasons you'd want to be.

You and Kylo had sex like you expected, and you told him you immediately wanted to go back home. He held you, kissed you, and wooed you into staying just one night with him and he'd let you go in the morning.

You slept, putting your full trust into the man next to you. You fully expected to wake up and leave the next morning, but just like the previous night: You should have known better.

Kylo was no where to be seen and of course the door was locked. Damn you for being so promiscuous! Why didn't you just stay home last night? _Ugh!_ It was as if bad decisions were attracted to you like you were a magnet. You picked up your tablet and texted him shamelessly texted him even thought you knew you'd get the run around

 

**You: What gives? I thought you said you'd let me go home this morning?**

 

**K. Ren: You were sleeping so peacefully, I decided to let you get rest.**

 

**You: But why did you lock the door???**

 

You never got a response. Once again, you should have known.

 

Kylo delivered breakfast and lunch to you, and each time you thought about making a run for it through the open door. It had always been the same: The droid knocks, the droid opens the door, the droid rolls in, the droid leaves the food, the droid rolls out, and then it closes the door. With how slow the First Order programs their house keeping droids you knew you'd have more than enough time to slip out and run, but you really didn't want to upset Kylo. Kylo had the means to find you, to track you down and as you had known by now could hurt you if he decided he needed to.

You had decided that you wanted things to go smoothly with Kylo for the remainder of your time in the Order. You didn't know how much longer you had or could take while he was holding you hostage in his quarters, but during that time you did not want him to even come close to what he did to you a few days ago. So you sat imprisoned, knowing once you did make it back home everyone would be disappointed in you. You had barely ever wore your goofy ass glasses while in Kylo's quarters and you hadn't felt your arm itch in quite sometime. Guess there was no good information to pick up when you're stuck in Kylo's quarters.

Kylo came home and brought dinner for the two of you as he always did. You listened to him ramble on and on about his day at work, about how the interrogation he had to do was so rough that he had to break the man's fingers one by one to get him to speak, about how he didn't know why the Supreme Leader allowed Hux to come back to the Order, and about how his storm troopers were out of line by asking him about where you were. He told you he honed in on their thoughts when he heard your name fly through the air and asserted himself into their conversation.

“And I told them they didn't need to worry about you. I didn't need an assistant any way and even if I did none of it would be their business.” You barely even caught the last part of the last sentence, too busy spinning your spoon around in your near empty bowl of soup. “Can I please go home?” You cut in loud and proud, you would sacrifice this conversation that you didn't even care about for an opportunity to go back to your dorm.

Kylo stared at you like you had just told him his food was disgusting. “Why do you want to go home y/n?”

“Because you've already kept me locked up in here for days on end once and I don't want it to happen again.” You were bold, told him exactly what you wanted and didn't beat around the bush at all. Kylo took a swing of his water, swished it in his mouth and swallowed, he seemed to have taken a second to himself to respond. “You don't want to spend time with me?” He was guilting you, the dirty bastard. “No, I do, but not if you take away my freedom like you did!” There was silence, you two did nothing but stare at each other. “Look Kylo. I love spending time with you, I love it when we have sex, when we talk, when we dance and laugh together, I really really do. I just can't stand it when you lock me in here like I'm a hostage!”

Again, he just stared at you. “I promise if you let me go I'll still come to see you often, I just hate the feeling of not being able to leave!” Kylo looked on at you, then stood up and went to his window. He had tension in his shoulders and neck, you knew whatever was about to happen was not going to be pretty.

“You may be able to promise me that you'll come back to me, but I've found that you can't promise to be only mine.”

The statement took you by complete surprise. You gasped as you stood up, insulted to your core at his audacity. “What the fucks that supposed to mean? What are you trying to say Kylo?”

“I'm trying to say I caught you twice with two different men cheating on me, and I don't need you doing it again so I'll keep you right here where you can be mine and only mine!” He took five thunderous steps toward you, you took two timid steps back to avoid being hit. “How many times do I have to fucking say it? We're not together, those two times we weren't even fucking! I can be with whoever I want when I'm not with you.”

“And how many times must I repeat myself? I know your true feelings toward me y/n. You can't admit them to yourself but I can see them clear as day. You want me, you belong to me, and you're not going to go around whoring yourself out while you're with me.”

Had the hinge of your jaw not been there, your jaw would have hit the floor. “What did you just call me?” You yelled at the top of your lungs. “You're a little whore!” He shouted back at you. Your blood was boiling and your bruised eye was hurting more and more, reminding you of what he had done to you a few nights ago. It did nothing but fuel your anger further. “You think you can go around bending over and giving everyone a full view of your ass and then let them touch you wherever when you belong to me?”

“Listen to me you horse faced, big nosed, elephant eared, slimy bastard! You can elbow me in the face, you can keep me locked in your room, you can even kill the men that I've been with but you're not going to stand here and disrespect me like you just did! Now you're either going to let me walk out of that door right there or I'm jumping out of that fucking window because I'm done with you. Whatever you wanted to call this thing between us, it's over. I never want to see you ever again!” You started walking over to the door, waiting for him to follow you. You actually expected him to follow your orders, to angrily comply and let you leave.

But of course, it's Kylo and apparently you now “belonged” to him, so he didn't make things easy on you.

“Come here. Come here and say that to my face y/n.” You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes, taking the first few steps to him. Once he saw you were on your way over to him he turned around, his heart was probably breaking. But oh well, this was about what you wanted not him. “I said you're going to let me out-”

You couldn't move out of the way fast enough. You didn't even realize what had happened until you were falling toward the floor, your cheek aglow and heating rapidly.

He slapped you. He really, _really,_ just slapped you.

You didn't have time to reflect, however, because he was coming toward you again. You rolled onto your hands and knees, grabbing onto the kitchen counter and hoisting yourself up. He lunged toward you and you screamed in response, jumping out of the way again. The adrenaline was pumping almost painfully through your body, you were horrified and terrified of what was going on. Kylo was baring his teeth and had a giant purple vein popping out of his neck, he was on a rampage.

You started backing up as Kylo picked up the small dining table and threw it at you, you dodged it and ran for the window. Even if it killed you you needed to get away from this enraged maniac, you had only heard of this side of Kylo before, never have you lived it.

Kylo blocked your path, reaching right for your neck he made his way toward you. You desperately looked around for a place to run, but there was no where to go. This was it, this is how you would lose your life.

You backed up, gliding your hand across the counter you felt something cool. You looked over and saw something to defend yourself with: A bottle of Hennessy. You seized the neck of the bottle and swung blindly in front of you, Kylo dodged your every move. “Stop! Just leave me be! I want to leave, just let me be!” You begged Kylo, holding the bottle out in front of you as if it would have any effect on the massive enraged Force user standing in front of you. Kylo said nothing, instead using the Force to move the table out of the way behind you. You did your best to run past him, swinging the bottle as close to his face as to distract him so you could get by, but it didn't work.

Instead, you found yourself being held up by your neck, pushed back toward the now free wall behind you. While one hand held you firmly to the wall, the other hand took a hold of your wrist that was holding the bottle and pinned it to the wall above you. The glass shattered, causing you to scream both in surprise when the cold amber liquid cascaded over your body and in agony when the glass cut its way down your flesh.

“You ungrateful little bitch!” He said between clenched teeth, seething with every strained breath he took. “I did everything for you, I waited for you, I gave you a place to live and protected you, and this is how you repay me?” He shouted in your ear, tightened his grip around your neck and let go of your other hand in favor of slapping you once more. “I can't fucking believe you! You little whore, I took such good care of you but you'd rather entertain another mans affections!”

Kylo twisted you around and, with the help of the force, threw you across the living room. You screamed again, the broken bottle and your only defensive device falling from your hand as you hit the other wall next to the TV with a bone crunching thud.

“You never deserved anything I gave you. You don't even deserve to live right now.” Kylo stalked over to you, his fists were balled and he stood tall above your quivering body. “Please don't kill me. I'm sorry Ky-”

“That's Commander, y/n. And I'm going to make sure you don't forget it.”

 

The last thing you remembered from that night was seeing Kylo grip the entertainment center that the TV was sitting on. Next thing you knew you were waking up in a pile of shit you hardly even recognized. You were sore everywhere, you could hardly even bend your limbs to get out of the pile of stuff that was on top of you. You did your best to move what you now found was a TV, a table, a DVD player, a glass screen, and one singular broken chair. That's when it hit you, what happened last night and how you nearly lost your life to the Commander of the First Order.

You panicked, wanting to run all over his quarters trying to get rid of the adrenaline so you could think clearly, but your leg was in tons of pain. Had you broken it? Fractured it? Pulled a muscle? You really didn't know and felt like you didn't have time to speculate. You had to leave before Kylo came back to finish what he had started with you.

You limped over to the window, fully intending to take your chances by jumping out but it was permanently stuck, dead bolted and wouldn't even move when you pulled on it. “Shit. Shit!” Tears welled in your eyes, you didn't want to die here at the hand of your ex lover. There had to be another way out! A vent? Anything?

Wait! The Food droids!

This was your chance, your one and only chance to get out. All you had to do was call in an order of food and you'd be free.

 

You hobbled to your tablet that you had left in Kylos room the previous night and saw one missed message from none other than your terrorist himself:

 

**K. Ren: If you're alive and you see this message, I am truly sorry for losing my temper last night. Maybe we can talk about it when I get home tonight.**

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You tried to laugh out loud but you found your jaw ached, was it dislocated? You didn't know, the only thing you knew was you were covered in blood, smelled like alcohol, in unimaginable amounts of pain, and needed out as soon as possible.

You ordered something stupid, oatmeal, or maybe grits, or maybe spinach, you didn't know and didn't care. As soon as you selected something you threw your tablet down and immediately began to dress as fast as you could while in the amounts of pain you were in. You didn't want to attract unnecessary attention to yourself as you planned your great escape. Something you should have done weeks ago but were too love struck to act on.

Once you were dressed to your own satisfaction you threw on your glasses, you would be needing those once you made it back to your base.

 

You stood not so patiently behind the door, waiting for the droid with your food to show up. About 15 minutes after you were dressed and ready to run the door opened, the droid did what it always did and carted the food in. You saw it look around for you, while it stood there confused you went in for the kill.

You knocked it over, grunting as you realized you had let some of your frustration out from the previous night out on it. It beeped wildly in surprise as its internal gyroscope tried desperately to stand it back up. “Sorry buddy.” You said as you squatted down next to it, forcing its back panel open to get to its internal wires and circuits. You knew your way a round a droid, you knew what wires to break and what circuits to pull out for it to go completely offline, and when it did you didn't look back. You made a run for it through Kylo's door and into the halls of Star Killer Base.

You were terrified the entire time, wanting to always look over your shoulder to see if Kylo had spotted you leaving, but you didn't want to draw attention to yourself. Judging by all the pain you were in you could almost guarantee your face was fucked up, so if people were going to see you they would already be staring.

You had no problem finding your way to the hangar, you had the maps to the base memorized before you even took the job. The only issue you found was when you rounded a corner and your datapad slapped your thought. “Fuuuuuuuck!” You whispered to yourself. For all you knew now Kylo had seen you leave his room and had followed your path. He could have been on his way to you right now. You snatched the tablet off of your hip and threw it into a near by interrogation room, as it hit the wall you heard it crunch and knew that would be the end of that. You could make it to your destination that much safer now without Kylo looking and seeing where you were going.

When you made it to the hangar you seeked out the TIE Fighter pilot. He was just standing there out in the open not doing much of anything. You walked right up to him, confronting him and wasting no time trying to make conversation. “Three thousand credits and you take me where I want to go no questions asked.” You shook out a bag of credits your boss had given you before embarking on your journey to the base, just in case you needed money in an emergency.

The pilot just stared at you, the mask design made it look like he was confused. “Five thousand credits or I tell the commander a member of the First Order was trying to leave illegally.”

You rolled your eyes at him, then chuckled lightly. “Three thousand credits, and I don't tell the Commander you beat his lover and tried to kidnap her. Think wisely asshole.” You honestly weren't expecting the threat to work on him, you thought that you had made it all the way to the hangar undetected just to be reported by this pilot and be killed on sight by every one of Kylos mindless minions.

But no. He complied with you.

With a gulp and a terrified “Right away ma'm!” He motioned for you to follow him onto a TIE Fighter where he took off out of the hangar and away from Star Killer. It was at that point you let go of your breath. You had safely made it out of your prison, out of your enemies hands. All that was left to do was relax, enjoy the ride to the planet you had requested, and hope that Kylo never catches up to you or learns of what you were doing during your time with him.

 

You landed on a planet, made a phone call, hitch hiked to several more planets, and after five long hours of travel made it back to D'Qar, your home planet and place of work. When you limped through the gates of the Resistance base everyone turned their head. A few of them gasped, a few of them screamed, and a few said nothing. Everyone was equally as surprised as the next. You took every step one at a time, past faces of shock and horror at your appearance. You were angry no one was helping you, you had bruises from head to toe, a split lip, a black eye, lacerations, and the like. Every step made you feel weaker and weaker, until you could no longer stand, too exhausted from your time in the First Order.

You collapsed in front of your comrades the dirt felt familiar and you felt like you were laying on your bed back home. You missed this dirt and everything that surrounded it. Only then did you hear someone speak up:

“She's back! Y/n is back from her mission on Star Killer Base!”

 

“Good fucking maker! Feels good to have that thing out of my fucking arm.” You said as the physician removed the audio recording device from your arm. You knew The First Order had advanced technology, but they couldn't manufacture a recording device that could hear through several layers of skin. It looked like a bloody peanut, the physician dropped it into a small container. “We'll get it cleaned off and make sure we've captured all the audio we can. You did a good job Y/n. Everyone in the Resistance is so proud of you.”

“Thank you. That little shit was probably the worst part. Had my arm itching like crazy when you guys would tune it.” You and the physician chuckled together. “Alright Ms. Y/n. Head on down to the Command center across the base, General Organa would like to have a word with you.”

You followed the physicians orders. She had gone out of her way to patch you up from your assault by Kylo. Turns out your leg was fractured and so was your jaw. Those were real easy to fix and it took you less than an hour to be on your feet and walking normally again. You had already spoken to Leia on your way into the Resistance Base Hospital, you had given her your glasses so that she could start going through the film you had captured.

“Y/n, I'm so glad you've made it back safe and sound. Everyone was so worried about you when you first made it back.”

“Thank you, General. I'm glad I could have accomplished my duties as an informant.” You beamed as you saw a tear fall down Leia's face. You had been the very first Resistance spy to have infiltrated a First Order territory, Leia had put a lot of faith and trust in you and from the looks of it she was ever so grateful you didn't die. “You did well, y/n. Just skipping around in the footage you got a lot of exciting material for us to go through. This coupled with the audio device will give us a huge leg up in the war. I'm excited to sit down with the rest of the team and go through it. I'm so proud of you!”

Leia cupped your face in her hands and pulled you close to her, it was like a mother daughter moment you were experiencing with her. You were happy you brought her so much joy in completing this job. “Um, the last few days were really boring though, I was basically held prisoner in someones personal quarters.”

“That's not a problem, y/n. We'll pick out the most useful footage and study it when we can. Now why don't you go back to your home and rest. You had a rough last few months and I'm sure you're ready to be back in your own bed.” The smile on your face grew so large, you had completely forgotten about your own home! “Will do, General. I'll see you tomorrow.” You said as you began skipping out of the command center. Your bed was calling your name, your pillows and blankets too. You planned to sleep for the next week, no interruptions, no TV, no-

“And y/n?” You turned around at the Generals call to you. “You and my son got obscenely close, didn't you?”

You cheeks burned in red hot embarrassment. It was time to leave the Command center before Leia could talk about what she witness you and her son doing just going through the little bit of footage.

There are some things a mother just doesn't need to see her boy doing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, tell me what you guys want to see next. I have a modern AU KyloxReader in mind and I have a sequel to Teach me in mind.


End file.
